Although a lawyer may not be absolutely necessary, having a knowledgeable attorney who will fight for you in court can impact the legal process and experience. If you are representing yourself, it can be difficult to speak up in front of a judge or to know what your legal rights are in the court process.

In some cases, you may be able to fill out the necessary court forms on your own. For civil protection orders, for example, the forms are often designed to be filled out by a person without a lawyer and can be fairly straightforward. However, for cases that are more complicated, such as divorce, filling out the forms correctly and knowing what to write in the forms to try to get the best outcome can be challenging to do by yourself. Also, once the court case has begun, the other party may file legal papers (motions) that need to be answered in a certain legal format, which can be difficult to do without a lawyer.

A lawyer can be especially important if the other party has a lawyer or if the case cannot be resolved and the judge is going to hold a hearing or trial. There are complicated “rules of evidence” that spell out what type of statements, documents, or other evidence a judge can accept (admit) in court, which a lawyer would know.

Choosing the right lawyer to represent you can be crucial to your case. Even though you may not be able to interview or select an attorney if you are assigned one from legal services or through the court, this is something you can do if you are paying for their services.

Before deciding whether or not you want to hire (retain) the attorney, you should interview them to see if you think they are qualified to handle your case. Think of this as an interview for anyone you are hiring to perform any job.

Here are some questions that may be helpful to guide you in your initial meeting with an attorney:

• How long have they been practicing? What types of cases do they usually handle?
• How many cases involving domestic violence victims, custody, divorce, etc., have they handled? What is their view on introducing domestic violence in court in cases like yours? Is it considered important or is it not relevant?
• If there is domestic violence in your case, have they worked with domestic violence advocates before? How will they work together to ensure your safety? 
• Explain your goals and what you’d like to accomplish in your case. Do they think that is a realistic outcome? What do they think would be a realistic outcome?
• Can they explain what a judge will look at in your case when making a decision?
• What type of communication will they have during the case? If you email them, for example, how long will it usually take to receive a reply from them? How often will they update you about the case?

It is also important to understand all of the fees that you will be expected to pay and what those fees cover. Most lawyers will ask for a lump sum up front, known as a retainer. What that retainer covers is part of the information that needs to be clarified. Below is a list of suggested questions that you can ask a lawyer to best understand the total costs:

• Is the retainer based on an estimate of the hours they anticipate spending on your case? Does it only cover initial expenses, or is it a flat rate to cover the whole case?
• What exactly does the retainer cover? In other words, does it only cover negotiations and court conferences? Or does it also cover any hearings or motions that might be needed in your case?
• If the retainer is not a flat rate,
  • what is their hourly rate? This will help you figure out how many hours the retainer covers.
  • will non-lawyers work on your case, such as paralegals? If so, how much is their hourly rate?
• Do they refund all or part of the retainer if my case is dropped or takes less time than expected? Attorneys should be willing to refund any unused portion of the retainer. Make sure the agreement clearly states that any unused retainer money will be returned to you.
• Are there other expenses that you may have to pay, such as filing fees, mailing, or copying fees? What are they, and how much are they likely to be? Will you be charged for their time if you speak on the phone or email each other? What is the minimum time increment for which they charge? For example, if you have a 7-minute call, will they charge in 10 or 15-minute increments?
• If an additional retainer is required once the initial one is used up, how much would that be? Could that be paid via a payment plan if needed?
• Will you receive a monthly invoice for the services rendered and the retainer used for that period?

In some states, the law allows the judge to order the higher-income spouse to pay some or all of the lawyer fees of the lower-income spouse. It’s also possible that this is an option in a custody case. You can ask the attorney if this is possible under your state’s laws and if they are willing to ask the judge to order this. Some lawyers may not want to make this legal request to the judge, as it could mean waiting until the end of the case to receive payment.

If you cannot get a lawyer, you may have to represent yourself in court, which is known as being a “pro se litigant.” (“Pro se” is a Latin term that means “on one’s own behalf.”)

Many courthouses have an office within the court that assists self-represented litigants in filling out paperwork or provides brief advice. You can ask the clerk of court if there is any help for pro se litigants available in the courthouse.

Advocates at local domestic violence organizations may also be able to help you with filling out forms or may accompany you to court for support if you are a victim of abuse. Go to our Advocates and Shelters page to find an organization near you.

For tips on representing yourself in court, go to our Preparing for Court section.

Once you choose a lawyer, make sure to explain to the lawyer everything that you think is relevant about your case. Here are some things that you might want to bring up in your first couple of conversations with your lawyer:

• your concerns about the case;
• your goals;
• what you think the other party’s goals will be, or what you think they may say about you, regardless of whether those things are true or made up. Even if you believe that this information would be hurtful to your case, your attorney should be aware of everything. Having surprise evidence come up during a hearing or a trial that your attorney was not prepared for can be very damaging to your case;
• ask about their strategy for how to accomplish your goals;
• discuss what you can do to better prepare your case, including what documents you may be able to show the attorney, what witness testimony may be helpful, etc.; and
• ask what else they need to know from you. Be open and honest with your attorney in answering whatever questions they have. Your attorney may have to ask difficult questions that will be hard for you to answer. However, with limited exceptions, your conversations with your attorney are confidential.

If you feel you are having trouble explaining things to your lawyer, write down what you want to say beforehand. Sometimes it is helpful to write things down in a bullet point list, keeping each bullet point to one or two sentences. When you write things down in this way, it often helps you get your thoughts straight and focus on the most important parts. It could also help the lawyer follow what you are trying to explain.

If a lawyer tells you they cannot take your case because of a conflict of interest, it means something about your case could keep them from representing you fairly and fully.

For example, this might happen if:

• The other person in your case shared information about the case with the attorney, asked them to be their lawyer, or the lawyer is actively representing them;
• They previously represented the other person involved in your case;
• They know private information from a past client that could affect your case;
• They still have duties to a current or past client that would limit their ability to represent you; or
• They have a personal or financial connection to the other side that could affect their representation.

Because lawyers must follow strict ethical rules, they cannot take cases where they would not be completely loyal to you and your interests. A conflict of interest could prevent them from giving you their best, most honest advice and representation.

So, if a lawyer says there is a conflict, it does not mean your case is not important. It just means they are not allowed to represent you because it could be unfair to you, and there’s a potential conflict of interest they are trying to avoid.

If you want to learn more about the rules lawyers follow, you can read the Model Rules of Professional Conduct from the American Bar Association.

If you are having problems with your lawyer or feel that they are not handling your case well, it may be a good idea to speak with them directly. Explain your concerns clearly, let them know what you need and expect, and allow them to correct their actions.

If things do not improve or you are still unhappy with how your case is being handled, there are other steps you can take:

• Keep detailed notes about the problems you are having with the attorney - for example, if they are not returning your phone messages, keep a list of when you called and what message you left.
• Put your concerns in writing by sending an email or a letter. This can help to document your concerns and to keep a record of your interaction with your lawyer.
• Ask your lawyer to explain their strategy, as they may have very good reasons for the decisions and can hopefully explain the legal strategy.
• Be clear in explaining why you think the strategy is a problem.
• Consider getting a second opinion. An advocate at a local domestic violence program or another lawyer may also help you think through questions you might want to ask your lawyer to help you better understand their strategy.
• You may fire your attorney and get a new one. However, be aware that depending on the complexity of your case and your case’s status, it may be challenging to get a new lawyer. For some things to keep in mind, see I cannot continue working with my lawyer. What are my options?

If you feel your lawyer has acted unethically or committed malpractice, you can report it. Attorneys have a code of ethics and a code of conduct that they must follow.¹ Generally, the Bar Association handles complaints about attorneys who violate these codes. They may investigate a claim, decide if there is sufficient evidence to bring charges of misconduct, and impose disciplinary measures or dismiss the complaint. 

To file a complaint, you may want to contact the state bar association or the appropriate State Disciplinary Agency, which regulates attorneys in your state. However, you need to be aware that investigations often take a long time, and any punishment that may be handed down to the attorney will not specifically affect your case.

For more information about where you can file a complaint against a lawyer in your state, you may want to search the Directory of State Disciplinary Agencies on the American Bar Association’s website.

¹ American Bar Association. Model Rules of Professional Conduct.