Custody can be given to either parent or to both parents.¹ A judge cannot give preference to either parent because of that parent’s age, sex, or financial status. A judge also cannot give preference to either parent because of the age or sex of the child.²

In certain circumstances, custody or visitation can be given to someone else, known as a “third party.” In order for a non-parent to get third-party custody or visitation, the judge must believe that:

1. it is in the best interests of the child to give custody or visitation to the third party; and
2. either:
   • each parent is unfit, unsuitable, or unable to be a custodian; or
   • the well-being (welfare) of the child requires it.³

If the judge believes it is necessary to give custody or temporary custody to a non-parent, the first preference will be to give it to someone who is related to the child by blood (consanguinity) or marriage (affinity). If there is no relative willing to accept custody, then the judge can give custody to someone else who the judge believes is suitable and able to provide an adequate and stable environment for the child.⁴

^​1 MO ST § 452.375(5)
^​2 MO ST § 452.375(8)
^​3 MO ST §§ 452.375(1)((4)); 452.375(5)((5)) 
⁴ MO ST § 452.375(5)((5))(a) 

The judge will make a decision about custody based on what s/he thinks is in your child’s best interest. If the parents have not reached an agreement on all issues related to custody, then it will be up to the judge to decide. When deciding custody, the judge will look at what is in the best interests of the child and will consider all of the following factors:

• the parents’ wishes about custody and the proposed parenting plan submitted by both parents;
• the child’s need for frequent, continuing, and meaningful relationships with both parents;
• the ability and willingness of each parent to act in a way that considers the needs of the child;
• the child’s relationships and interactions with his/her parents, siblings, and anyone else who may significantly affect the child’s best interests;¹
• the child’s adjustment to his/her home, school, and community; Note: The judge cannot decide custody based only on the fact that a parent sends his/her child to a home school or family paced education school (FPE);²
• the mental and physical health of all individuals involved, including any history of abuse of any individuals involved;
• whether either parent plans to relocate with the child;¹
• the child’s unblocked (unobstructed) input about custody, free of coercion or manipulation, which could be told to the judge without the parents present;³ and
• which parent is more likely to allow the child to have frequent, continuing, and meaningful contact with the other parent. Note: If either parent has violated the parenting plan without good cause, this will be held against that parent when the judge evaluates this factor.⁴

Note: If the judge finds there was domestic violence and gives the abuser custody anyway, the judge must write a decision explaining why this is in the child’s best interests based on the facts and the law.⁵

Any custody order must include a specific written parenting plan. The parenting plan can be submitted by the parents and approved by the judge. Or, if the parents cannot agree, the judge can make the parenting plan.⁶ If the judge finds there was domestic violence, the custody and visitation orders must be written to protect you, your child, any other children in your home, and anyone else in your home who was the victim of domestic violence.⁷

¹ MO ST § 452.375(2)
² MO ST § 452.375(2)((5))
³ MO ST §§ 452.375(2); 452.385
⁴ MO ST §§ 452.375(2); 452.400(7)
⁵ MO ST § 452.375(2)((6))
⁶ MO ST § 452.375(9)
⁷ MO ST §§ 452.375(2)((6)); 452.400(1)((4))

A parent cannot get custody or unsupervised visitation if the parent, or any person who lives with that parent, has been convicted of one of the following crimes where the victim of the crime was a minor:

1. rape in the 1^st degree, 2^nd degree;
2. statutory rape;
3. sodomy in the 1^st degree, 2^nd degree;
4. statutory sodomy in the 1^st degree, 2^nd degree;
5. child molestation in the 1^st degree, 2^nd degree;
6. sexual misconduct involving a child;
7. sexual abuse in the 1^st degree, 2^nd degree;
8. sex with an animal - the requirement that the victim must be a minor clearly doesn’t apply to this crime;
9. enticement of a child;
10. abusing an individual through forced labor;
11. human trafficking for the purposes of labor or for the purposes of sexual exploitation;
12. sex trafficking of a child in the 2^nd degree;
13. contributing to human trafficking through the misuse of documents;
14. trafficking in children;
15. incest;
16. abuse or neglect of a child that involves abusive head trauma;
17. genital mutilation;
18. child used in sexual performance;
19. promoting sexual performance by a child.¹

However, if the parent, or someone who lives with the parent, was convicted of any other crime listed in chapter 566 or chapter 568, or a similar crime in another state, where the victim was a minor, the judge can give the parent custody or visitation.²

The judge can deny a parent visitation if, after a hearing, the judge decides that visitation would endanger the child’s physical health or harm his/her emotional development. The judge must consider evidence of domestic violence. However, the judge could still give visitation to the abusive party if the judge believes it is in the best interests of the child to do so.³ If the judge orders visitation, the judge must:

1. consider the abusive parent’s history of causing anyone, or the future likelihood of him/her causing anyone:
   • physical harm or the fear of physical harm;
   • bodily injury or the fear of bodily injury;
   • assault or the fear of assault; and
2. make sure that the visitation order will protect the abused parent, the child, and any other children living in the household from any further harm.⁴

If an abusive parent is given restricted or supervised visitation, the parent must show proof of treatment and rehabilitation before the judge can change the visitation order to unsupervised visitation.⁵

¹ MO ST §§ 452.375(3); 452.400(1)((2))(a)
² MO ST §§ 452.375(3); 452.400(1)((2))(b)
³ MO ST § 452.400(1)
⁴ MO ST § 452.400(1)((3)), (1)((4))
⁵ MO ST § 452.400(2)((3))

If the other parent violates the order, you can file a verified motion for contempt. Or, if the other parent is denying or interfering with your custody or visitation rights for no good reason (without “good cause”), you could file a family access motion. The circuit clerk will give you the form and should explain the procedures for filing a family access motion.¹

Within five court days after you file a family access motion, the clerk will issue a summons for the other parent to appear in court. A copy of the motion and summons must be personally given (served) to the respondent by a process server or sheriff. The case must be resolved within 60 days.²

After the judge holds a hearing on the motion for contempt or the motion for a family access order, if the judge decides that the custody or visitation order was not followed, without good cause, the judge can:

1. give the parent who was denied visitation make-up parenting time with the child that is the same amount or more than the amount of time the parent was denied; and
2. order the parent who violated the order to:
   • participate in counseling to educate him/her about the importance of providing the child with a continuing and meaningful relationship with both parents;
   • pay a fine to the other parent of up to $500;
   • pay the cost of counseling to reestablish the parent-child relationship between the parent who was denied visitation and the child;
   • post a bond or security to ensure future compliance with the court order;³ and
   • pay any reasonable expenses that the other parent had because of the denial or interference, including attorney’s fees and costs of a legal proceeding to enforce custody or visitation rights.⁴

¹ MO ST §§ 452.375(10); 452.400(3)
² MO ST § 452.400(4), (9)
³ MO ST § 452.400(6)
⁴ MO ST § 452.400(8)

After a final custody order is issued, there may come a time when you and your children move to a different state. For information about how to request to transfer the custody case to a new state, please go to the Transferring a custody case to a different state section in our general Custody page. However, it’s important to keep in mind that you may likely first need to get permission from the court or from the other parent to move your children out of state. Please talk to a lawyer to make sure your plans to move don’t violate your custody order or your state’s parental kidnapping laws.