A judge may award one parent sole legal custody or both parents shared legal custody.

• Sole legal custody means one parent will have the right to make major decisions about the child’s well-being, including matters of education, medical care and religious development.
• Shared legal custody means that both parents have the right to take part in major decisions about the child’s well-being.¹

¹ M.G.L. 208 § 31

Visitation allows a parent to visit with his/her child. How often the visits take place, where the visits take place, and whether or not the visits need to be supervised by another adult, will all be determined by the court.¹

Unlike legal custody, visitation does not give a parent the right to make major decisions about the child’s well-being, including education or medical care matters. A parent must have either sole or shared legal custody in order to make those decisions.

Unlike physical custody, a child will not live long-term with a parent who has visitation rights. However, the child may be able to have overnight, weekend, or even longer visits with the parent, depending on what the judge decides.

¹ M.G.L. 208 § 31; M.G.L. 209C § 10

If you are not comfortable with the abuser being alone with your child, you might be thinking about asking the judge to order that visits with your child be supervised. If you are already in court because the abuser filed for visitation or custody, you may not have much to lose by asking that the visits be supervised if you can present a valid reason for your request (although this may depend on your situation).

However, if there is no current court case, please get legal advice before you start a court case to ask for supervised visits. We strongly recommend that you talk to an attorney who specializes in custody matters to find out what you would have to prove to get the visits supervised and how long supervised visits would last, based on the facts of your case.

In the majority of cases, supervised visits are only a temporary measure. Although the exact visitation order will vary by state, county, or judge, the judge might order a professional to observe the other parent on a certain amount of visits or the visits might be supervised by a relative for a certain amount of time – and if there are no obvious problems, the visits may likely become unsupervised. Often, at the end of a case, the other parent ends up with more frequent and/ or longer visits than s/he had before you went into court or even some form of custody.

In some cases, to protect your child from immediate danger by the abuser, starting a case to ask for custody and supervised visits is appropriate. To find out what may be best in your situation, please go to the MA Finding a Lawyer page to find a lawyer who can give you legal advice.

Generally, both parents are entitled to file for sole or shared custody from the court. However, if the parents are unmarried, the parent who did not give birth to the child must first establish parentage before seeking legal custody of the child.¹ Parentage can be established by in court by filing a parentage petition in court, or outside of court if both parents sign and file what is called a “voluntary acknowledgment form.” You can read more about parentage and how to establish it on MassLegalHelp.org. Note: In 2025, Massachusetts laws substituted the word “parentage” in place of ”paternity.” 

Grandparents may also be able to seek custody of their grandchildren in certain circumstances. See I am the child’s grandparent. Can I get custody or visitation of the child?

¹ M.G.L. 209C §§ 10(b); 11

A parent who committed violence can get visitation. However, if visitation is granted to the abusive parent, the judge can take the following steps to try to keep you and your child safe:

• order that the visitation be supervised by an appropriate third party, visitation center, or agency;
• order that the exchange of the child take place in a safe setting, or in front of an appropriate adult;
• not allow overnight visits;
• order the abusive parent to not use alcohol or drugs during the visit and for 24 hours before the visit takes place;
• require the abusive parent to attend a batterer’s treatment program;
• require the abusive parent to post a bond, which is often money, to ensure that the child will be returned to you;
• order an investigation by or the appointment of a guardian ad litem or attorney for the child; and
• order anything else that the judge thinks is necessary to provide for your safety and for the safety and well-being of your child.¹

¹ M.G.L. 208 §§ 31A; 209C § 10(e)

In order to get visitation from the court, grandparents must show that not being able to visit with the child will cause the child significant harm, and in particular, will hurt the child’s health, safety, or welfare.¹ The grandparents must also show that visitation would be in the child’s best interests.²

Grandparents can ask the court to order visitation only if any of the following are true:

• one or both parents are dead;
• the parents are divorced;
• the parents are married but are living apart;
• the parents are under a temporary order or judgment of separate support; or
• the parents are unmarried and living apart. Note: If the paternal grandparents are the ones seeking visitation, the father’s paternity must be established before the grandparents can file for visitation.²

The grandparents cannot ask for a visitation order from the court if both parents are:

• alive;
• married;
• living together; and
• refusing to let the grandparents visit with the child.²

¹ See Blixt v. Blixt, 437 Mass. 649 (2002)
² M.G.L. 119 § 39D

If the parents were never married, and the judge decides to give sole custody to one parent, the judge is supposed to:

• keep (preserve) the relationship between the child and the parent who has been the primary caretaker of the child, if possible;
• consider which parent the child lived with during the six months immediately before the custody hearing; and 
• consider whether one or both parents have established a close, parental relationship with the child, or acted responsibly in the child’s best interests.¹

In order to grant joint custody to parents who were never married, the judge can only do so if:

1. the parents agree; or
2. the judge finds that the parents:
   • have successfully shared joint responsibility for the child in the past; and
   • they can communicate and plan with each other concerning the child’s best interests.¹

¹ M.G.L. 209C § 10(a)

It is hard to say how each individual judge would consider a situation where a parent fled the home but left the children behind. On one hand, it is likely that the judge will look at who has been the primary caretaker for the child, which means the judge will look to see who has been and who is currently spending the most time with the child, feeding the child, taking the child to school, etc.¹ If you have moved away from your child for a significant period of time before filing for custody, it may be harder to argue that you have been the child’s primary caretaker.

However, it is important to remember that a judge will take into account past or present abuse committed by one parent against another parent.² Therefore, if you have moved away to escape abuse, you can explain to the judge why it was necessary for you to leave the home where your children currently live.

Note: Before leaving the home without your children, we strongly suggest that you consult with a lawyer if possible for advice on how this could affect your chances of getting custody based on the facts of your particular situation.

¹ Family Law Advocacy for Low and Moderate Income Litigants: Chapter 9: Child Custody, 3^rd Edition (2018)
² M.G.L. 208 § 31A

You do not need a lawyer to file but it is highly recommended that you get a lawyer if you can, especially if the other parent has one. Custody cases can be complicated, and it is helpful to have someone guide you through the process.

If you cannot afford a lawyer, you may be able to find free or low-cost legal help in your area on the MA Finding a Lawyer page.

If you plan to file for custody on your own, you may want to read the informational manual called Representing Yourself in a Civil Case on the Massachusetts Courts website as well as our Preparing for Court – By Yourself section. Even if you plan on representing yourself, you may want to consider having a lawyer review your papers before you file them. Avoiding mistakes as much as possible will help save you time and may improve your chances of success.

If a custody proceeding has already started in a court of another state, and the case has not ended, a Massachusetts court may not be able to hear your case, even if Massachusetts is now your child’s “home state.”¹

Even if Massachusetts is not your home state, a Massachusetts court may be able to decide your case (“exercise jurisdiction”) if:

1. Your child is no longer living in Massachusetts but:
   • Massachusetts was your child’s “home state” within six months prior to the start of the custody proceeding; and
   • one of the child’s parents currently lives in Massachusetts;
2. No other state has the power to hear your case (jurisdiction) and it is in the best interest of your child for the case to be heard in Massachusetts because:

• you or your child have a significant connection to Massachusetts; and
• there is substantial evidence available in Massachusetts concerning the child’s present or future care, protection, training, and personal relationships.²

Note: If you and your child recently moved from Massachusetts to another state, generally you cannot file for custody in that new state until you have lived there for at least six months unless you qualify for “temporary emergency custody.” Until then, you or the other parent may be able to start a custody action in Massachusetts, as long as your child has most recently lived there for at least six months. Temporary emergency custody can be granted in a state that is not your child’s home state if it is necessary to keep your child safe from abuse or other danger.² You can read more about temporary emergency custody in our Parental Kidnapping section - see Can I get temporary emergency custody?

¹ 28 U.S.C § 1738A(g)
² M.G.L. 209B § 2(a)

Before you file for custody, you may consider making an out-of-court agreement with the other parent. Parents often have to be flexible about custody and visitation for the child’s benefit. Parents who fight for sole custody may be in court for months or even years. And they may still end up with some sort of joint custody order after a settlement or trial.

However, sometimes, parents need to file for custody because they can’t agree with the other parent. You may also need to file for custody if the other parent is keeping the child from you or if you fear for the child’s well-being. If the other parent has committed domestic violence against you, s/he may try to keep power and control over you through the child. When there has been domestic violence, joint custody usually isn’t a good option due to the power difference in the relationship between the parents.

Keep in mind that custody court cases can take a long time. Going through this process can be emotionally and financially draining, so please do what you can to take care of yourself. If you have experienced domestic violence, you may want to contact a local domestic violence organization. An advocate there may be able to support you and help you plan for your safety while in court.

You can watch our Custody, Visitation, and Child Support videos, where we explain legal concepts and the court process, to learn more about this topic. You can also read more about safety issues on the Safety Issues section of our Court System Basics page. 

In the following sections, we will discuss the steps that generally take place during the custody process. For precise information on how this process works in your county and state, you may want to contact a local lawyer.

The legal paperwork that starts a custody case is called a petition. You may file your custody petition in the family court or a court of a different name that hears custody cases. Generally, you will file in the county where the child lives.

The exact petition you file may depend on whether or not you are married to the child’s other parent, as you can see in the chart below.

Sometimes, non-parents can also file for custody or visitation rights. To find out about filing for custody as a grandparent, go to I am the child’s grandparent. Can I get custody? or talk to a lawyer.

The custody petition forms you need will be available at your local courthouse. Many forms are also available online. Some courts may have a court assistance officer or other staff who can help you complete the forms you need to file. However, court staff cannot advise or represent you. It’s best to get help from a lawyer to make sure that you have all of the forms and fill them out correctly. You can use our Massachusetts Courthouse Locations, Download Court Forms, and Finding a Lawyer pages to find your county’s court, the forms, and local lawyers.

Depending on what’s going on with the child and the other parent, you may be able to ask for an emergency or temporary custody order when you file your petition. That may require appearing in front of the judge. However, in most cases, you will just file the petition, and then the clerk will tell you a date to return to court a few weeks or months later. If your child’s well-being is in danger, make sure to mention this on the petition and notify local authorities as needed. It may also be possible to file for a restraining order, also called an abuse prevention order, and get temporary custody as part of that order.

After you file, the papers will need to be given to the other parent. This is called “service of process,” and there are specific rules on how to do it. You may want to ask the clerk for the instructions on how the other party must be served in your state.

There are two different ways that you might be able to get a final custody order – by coming to an agreement, or by going to trial.

Reach an agreement: In some situations, you and the other parent might be able to reach an agreement (settlement) about your child’s living arrangements. If the judge approves, your agreement could become the final custody order.¹ This could allow you to keep some level of control over the outcome and help you avoid the stress and uncertainty of a trial. You and the other parent could negotiate an agreement by yourselves, with the help of your attorneys, or through mediation.

Go to trial: If you can’t agree or if it’s unsafe for you to deal with the other parent directly, the next step will be a trial. At that point, the judge will make all the decisions about custody based on what s/he believes is in your child’s best interests. During a trial, you or your attorney can present evidence and cross-examine the other parent. The other parent can do the same. If you are representing yourself, you can learn more about how to do this in our At the Hearing section.

At trial, if one or both parents are asking for shared custody, both parents will be asked to submit plans detailing how custody will be shared, including where the child will live, plans for the child’s education and health care, ways to resolve disputes between the parents regarding child-raising decisions and duties, periods of time that the child will live with each parent, and so on. The judge may use either or both of the parents’ plans to decide what will go into the final custody order. Or the judge can reject the plans and issue a sole legal and physical custody award to either parent.¹

¹ Mass. Gen. Laws ch. 208 § 31

To modify a custody order, you usually need to go to the court that issued the order, even if you have moved. Generally, once a court has the power to hear the case (“jurisdiction”), that court will keep jurisdiction over all future custody decisions. In some situations, if you and your child have moved, you can ask the court to change the jurisdiction to the new state, or county, that you are in. For more information, see our Changing a final custody order section of our general Custody page. Trying to change the venue (location) of a case can be complicated and if you have moved to a new state, we recommend that you talk to a lawyer for help and advice. Go to the MA Finding a Lawyer page to find someone who can help you.

Generally, the parent without custody (the non-custodial parent) can have access to the child’s academic, medical, hospital or other health records. Awarding sole legal or physical custody to one parent will not prevent the other parent from accessing the child’s records. However, the judge can order that the address on the child’s records be kept confidential if:

• you have custody and you have any type of restraining order against the non-custodial parent; or
• keeping the current or prior address of you or the child private is necessary to ensure the health, safety, or welfare of you or the child.¹

If keeping your address confidential is a concern of yours, remember to bring this to the attention of your lawyer or the judge before the court case ends.

¹ M.G.L. 208 § 31