In Washington, a custody and visitation order is referred to as a parenting plan. A temporary parenting plan is used while the case is ongoing, before the final decision is made. A permanent parenting plan assigns rights and responsibilities to each parent and usually includes the specific time the child will spend with each parent, which parent will make decisions regarding the child, how disputes between the parents will be resolved, and any limits on parenting functions.¹ The goals of the parenting plan are to:

• provide for the child’s physical care;
• maintain the child’s emotional stability;
• provide for the child’s changing needs;
• set forth the responsibilities of each parent;
• minimize the child’s exposure to parental conflict;
• encourage the parents to avoid relying on judicial intervention: and
• protect the best interests of the child.²

The parenting plan will give decision-making power (authority) to one or both parents for the children’s education, health care, and religious upbringing. It will also create a residential schedule for where the child lives. However, regardless of who is given decision-making in the parenting plan, either parent may make emergency decisions affecting the health or safety of the child, and each parent may make decisions regarding the day-to-day care and control of the child while the child is residing with that parent.³

A parenting plan can be issued as part of any of the following petitions:

• Dissolution of Marriage (Divorce);
• Legal Separation;
• Establishing Parentage (Paternity);
• Modifying Custody;
• Non-Parental Custody, which is an action filed by a non-parent for custody of a child; or
• Parenting Plan, which is filed when paternity has been established, but no parenting plan was entered.

¹ R.C.W. § 26.09.004(3), (4)
² R.C.W. § 26.09.184(1)
³ R.C.W. § 26.09.184(5)(a)-(b), (6)

Willful abandonment is when a parent makes clear, either with words or by their actions, that they don’t intend to use their parental rights and responsibilities toward the child, despite being able to do so. This does not include situations where the parent cannot see the child due to circumstances, including but not limited to:

• being in jail or prison (incarceration);
• deportation;
• inpatient treatment;
• medical emergency;
• fleeing to an emergency or domestic violence shelter; or
• having the child withheld by the other parent.¹

If a parent willfully abandons their child, it may affect their ability to get decision-making power or residential parenting time.

¹ R.C.W. § 26.09.191(6)(b)

Abusive use of conflict is when a parent acts in a deliberate and continuing way to cause harm by “misusing conflict.” This can include:

• multiple violations of court orders about the child, or about protection of you or the child, in “bad faith”;
• threats of physical, emotional, or financial harm to you or other family, friends, or professionals supporting you or the child;
• intentionally using the child in a conflict; or
• abusive litigation.¹

Taking protective actions is not considered abusive use of conflict. If a parent engages in abusive use of conflict, it may affect their ability to get decision-making power or residential parenting time.

¹ R.C.W. § 26.09.191(3)(a)

There are many reasons why you might choose not to file for a parenting plan. You may decide that you don’t want to get the courts involved or you may already have an informal agreement with the other parent that works well for you. You may think that going to court will provoke the other parent to seek more time with your child and more legal rights, which you do not want him/her to have.

However, in some cases, it may be a good idea to get a court-ordered parenting plan. For example, a parenting plan may reduce conflict with the other parent because the rights and responsibilities for each parent would be stated clearly in the plan.

Getting a parenting plan can give you:

• the right to make decisions about your child;
• the right to have your child live with you.¹

It can also lay out clear guidelines on the following issues:

• with which parent the child will live;
• the amount of time the child will spend with each parent;
• which parent will make major decisions about the child; and
• how the parents will resolve major disagreements.²

A lawyer might be able to offer you advice about whether or not filing in court for a parenting plan is right for you.  To find a lawyer in your area, please see our Washington Finding a Lawyer page.

¹ R.C.W. § 26.09.184(2)
² R.C.W. § 26.09.184

In Washington state, non-parents cannot file for “custody,” but they can file for guardianship. A non-parent can file for guardianship of a minor child only if:

1. each parent of the child has consented to the guardianship;
2. all parental rights have been terminated; or
3. there is clear evidence that neither parent is willing to exercise their parenting functions.¹

The Washington Courts website has links to the court forms that are needed to file a guardianship case. WashingtonLawHelp.org has additional information about non-parental guardianship, but please note that WomensLaw.org is not affiliated with WashingtonLawHelp.org and cannot vouch for the information contained on that site.

For more information, you may want to talk to a lawyer. See our Washington Finding A Lawyer page for legal referrals.

¹ R.C.W. § 11.130.185(2)

All decisions about custody are supposed to be based on the “best interest” of the child.¹ A custody decision, as written into a parenting plan, will decide whether to give one parent sole decision-making authority or to give both parents mutual decision-making authority.

If the parents agree on how to divide up decision-making power over the children’s education, health care, and religious upbringing, the judge will approve this parenting plan if:

• the judge believes both parents willingly agree to it; and
• it is consistent with any “limitations” on a parent’s decision-making authority, which could be due to a parent committing domestic violence, sexual assault, or child abuse or other factors.²

For more information the limitations referenced above, which can be required (mandatory) or optional (discretionary), see our section called When the parent or someone who lives with the parent is abusive.

If the parents cannot agree on how to divide up decision-making authority in their proposed parenting plans, the judge can order sole decision-making authority to one parent if:

• both parents are opposed to mutual decision-making;
• one parent reasonably opposes mutual decision-making; or
• a limitation on the other parent’s decision-making authority is required.³

When deciding whether or not to order mutual decision-making, the judge will consider:

• the history of each parent’s participation in deciding issues about the children’s education, health care, and religious upbringing;
• whether or not the parents have shown an ability and desire to cooperate in making decisions about the children’s education, health care, and religious upbringing;
• how close the parents live to each other, to the extent that it affects their ability to make timely mutual decisions; and
• whether a limitation on either parent’s decision-making authority is required.⁴

¹ R.C.W. § 26.09.187
² R.C.W. § 26.09.187(2)(a); see R.C.W. § 26.09.184(5)(a)
³ R.C.W. § 26.09.187(2)(b)
⁴ R.C.W. § 26.09.187(2)(c); see R.C.W. § 26.09.184(5)(a)

If a parent or guardian asks for shared parenting time of a child and the judge denies the request, the judge will usually put the reasons s/he denied your request on the court record. A judge can put his/her reasons on the court record by either stating his/her reasoning to you during a court hearing or by putting the reasons in writing.

Generally, you can only file for custody in the “home state” of the child.¹  The “home state” is the state where your child has lived with a parent or a person acting as a parent for at least six consecutive months.  If your child is less than 6 months old, then your child’s home state is the state where s/he has lived since birth. Leaving the state for a short period of time, such as going on vacation, does not change your child’s home state.²

If you and your child recently moved to a new state, generally you cannot file for custody in that new state until you have lived there for at least six months.  Until then, you or the other parent can start a custody action in the state where your child has most recently lived for at least 6 months.  There are exceptions to the “home state” rule.  Please see Can I change the state where the case is being heard? for more information.

Here are some examples of the “home state” rule:

My children lived in Alabama their whole lives.  We just moved to Washington a few weeks ago. In my case, Alabama is my children’s “home state”.  If I want to file for custody right now, I will probably need to file in Alabama.

My children lived in Florida for six months.  We moved to Washington five months ago.  Because the kids haven’t lived in Washington for six months yet, Florida is still the children’s home state. If I want to file for custody right now, I will probably need to file in Florida.

My children lived in Michigan for their whole lives until we moved to Washington six months ago. Because the children have lived in Washington for six months, Washington is likely their “home state.”  I will likely need to file for custody in Washington.

My children lived in Washington until they left to live with their father in Alabama two months ago. Because they haven’t lived in Alabama for six months yet, their home state is still Washington.  If I want to file for custody, I can most likely file in Washington.

¹ R.C.W. § 26.27.201
² R.C.W. § 26.27.021(7)

Depending on the details of the case, an abusive parent may have residential parenting time limited by “mandatory limitations” or “discretionary limitations.” This means that in some cases it is required (mandatory) for the judge to limit the time, while in others it is up to the judge to decide whether a limitation is appropriate (discretionary). To see what limitations the judge can apply in either situation, see What are the limitations a judge can place on the abusive parent’s contact with my child?

When limitations are mandatory

If the judge believes that the abusive parent has done any of the following, the abusive parent’s residential time with the child must be limited:

1. willfully abandoned the child for an extended period of time;
2. committed physical abuse or a pattern of emotional abuse against a child;
3. has a history of committing acts of domestic violence against anyone;
4. committed an assault that caused or threatened serious (grievous) physical injury;  
5. sexually assaulted anyone;¹ or
6. was convicted of a sex offense as follows:
   
   1. if they were convicted as an adult of a sex offense against a child, either in Washington or anywhere else, the judge has to assume that the parent is a danger to the child and cannot allow contact between the parent and child unless the parent can convince the judge otherwise;² or
   2. if they were designated a sexual predator, the judge cannot allow contact with the child.³

If the abusive parent sexually abused your child specifically, see If the abusive parent sexually abused my child, will the judge allow contact?

When limitations are discretionary

If any of the following apply to the abusive parent, the judge may limit their residential time with the child, but it’s not required:

1. the parent:
   
   1. neglects or substantially does not perform parenting functions;
   2. endangers the child’s psychological development through abusive use of conflict;
   3. withheld the child from the other parent without a good reason for a sustained period of time; Note: This does not include protective actions you may take to protect yourself or the child from the abusive parent;
2. a long-term impairment that is emotional, physical, or caused by substance abuse interferes with the parent’s performance of parenting functions;
3. the child lacks an emotional tie with the parent, or the emotional tie is significantly damaged; or
4. there are other factors or acts that the judge believes are against the child’s best interests.⁴

¹ R.C.W. § 26.09.191(4)(a)
² R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(2)(a)
³ R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(1)
⁴ R.C.W. § 26.09.191(4)(c)

If the other parent is not abusive but knowingly lives with someone who has committed domestic violence or a sex offense, this may affect that parent’s right to see their children. The judge must limit that parent’s residential parenting time if they live with an offender who:

1. committed physical abuse, sexual abuse, or a pattern of emotional abuse against any child;
2. has a history of committing acts of domestic violence;
3. committed an assault that caused or threatened serious (grievous) physical injury; or
4. sexually assaulted anyone.¹

In addition, the following limitations apply if the offender has been found to have committed certain sexual crimes:

If the custody case is about your child, and they were:

• not the victim of the abuse described in numbers 3 and 4 above, the parent who lives with the offender may try to disprove the presumption against parenting time by showing that:
  • contact between the parent and child is appropriate;
  • the parent can protect the child from the offender; and
  • if treatment for sex offenders was ordered by a court, the offender has provided documentation that they successfully completed the treatment or are currently in treatment and making progress.⁵
• the victim of the abused described in numbers 3 and 4 above, the parent must show the following to disprove the presumption against parenting time:
  • contact between the child and the parent in the presence of the offender is appropriate and poses minimal risk to the child;
  • if the child is in therapy for victims of sexual abuse, the child’s counselor believes the contact is in the child’s best interest; and
  • if a court-ordered treatment for sex offenders, the offender has provided documentation that they successfully completed the treatment or are currently in treatment and making progress.⁶

If the other parent is successful, the judge can allow them to have supervised residential time with your child in the presence of the offender. The supervisor must be a neutral and independent adult who is willing and able to protect the child from harm, but it can be the parent if the judge believes the parent meets these requirements. The judge can revoke approval if the supervisor fails to protect the child or is no longer willing or able to protect the child.⁷

¹ R.C.W. § 26.09.191(4)(b)
² R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(1)
³ R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(3)(b)
⁴ R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(3)(a)
⁵ R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(4)(b)(i)
⁶ R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(4)(b)(ii)
⁷ R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(4)(c)(ii)

If mandatory or discretionary limitations apply to both parents, the judge can compare the risk each parent poses to the child. The judge must include a detailed written explanation in the custody order of this risk and any limitations the judge is deciding to impose on either parent.¹

If a discretionary limitation applies to one parent while a mandatory limitation applies to the other, the mandatory limitations have priority when the judge is deciding on the residential schedule, decision making, and dispute resolution.² 

In any of these situations, the judge must consider the child’s best interest and which parenting arrangement will best maintain the child’s physical care, emotional growth, health, and stability. The law assumes that the child’s best interest is to change the existing parental contact only as much as needed:

• based on a change in the relationship between the parents; or
• to protect the child from physical, mental, or emotional harm.³

¹ R.C.W. § 26.09.191(7)(a), (c)
² R.C.W. § 26.09.191(7)(b)
³ R.C.W. § 26.09.191(7)(d)

Before you file for custody, you may consider making an out-of-court agreement with the other parent. Parents often have to be flexible about custody and visitation for the child’s benefit. Parents who fight for sole custody may be in court for months or even years. And they may still end up with some sort of joint custody order after a settlement or trial.

However, sometimes, parents need to file for custody because they can’t agree with the other parent. You may also need to file for custody if the other parent is keeping the child from you or if you fear for the child’s well-being. If the other parent has committed domestic violence against you, s/he may try to keep power and control over you through the child. When there has been domestic violence, joint custody usually isn’t a good option due to the power difference in the relationship between the parents.

Keep in mind that custody court cases can take a long time. Going through this process can be emotionally and financially draining, so please do what you can to take care of yourself. If you have experienced domestic violence, you may want to contact a local domestic violence organization. An advocate there may be able to support you and help you plan for your safety while in court.

You can watch our Custody, Visitation, and Child Support videos, where we explain legal concepts and the court process, to learn more about this topic. You can also read more about safety issues on the Safety Issues section of our Court System Basics page. 

In the following sections, we will discuss the steps that generally take place during the custody process. For precise information on how this process works in your county and state, you may want to contact a local lawyer.

The legal paperwork that starts a custody case is called a petition. You may file your custody petition in the family court or a court of a different name that hears custody cases. Generally, you will file in the county where the child lives.

The exact petition you file may depend on whether or not you are married to the child’s other parent, as you can see in the chart below.

Sometimes, non-parents can also file for custody or visitation rights. To find out about filing as a non-parent, go to Can a non-parent file for custody of a child? or talk to a lawyer.

The custody petition forms you need will be available at your local courthouse. Many forms are also available online. When you file for custody in Washington, you will need to submit a proposed parenting plan, which includes a schedule of when the child lives or stays with each parent (residential schedule).¹

Some courts may have a court assistance officer or other staff who can help you complete the forms you need to file. However, court staff cannot advise or represent you. You may also be able to obtain self-help information from the Northwest Justice Project’s CLEAR (Coordinated Legal Education, Advice and Referral) hotline at 1-888-387-7111. It’s best to get help from a lawyer to make sure that you have all of the forms and fill them out correctly. You can use our Washington Courthouse Locations, Download Court Forms, and Finding a Lawyer pages to find your county’s court, the forms, and local lawyers.

In Washington, custody or visitation orders are part of a “parenting plan.” Depending on what’s going on with the child and the other parent, you may be able to ask for an emergency or temporary custody order when you file your petition. That may require appearing in front of the judge. However, in most cases, you will just file the petition, and then the clerk will tell you a date to return to court a few weeks or months later. If your child’s well-being is in danger, make sure to mention this on the petition and notify local authorities as needed.

If you are requesting a temporary parenting plan, you must include a proposed temporary plan in what you file with the court and serve on the other parent. You must also attach an affidavit or declaration that includes:

• the name and address of anyone the child has lived with in the past 12 months, and for how long the child lived there;
• each parent’s performance of parenting functions during the last 12 months;
• each parent’s work and child-care schedule currently and for the last 12 months; and
• any mandatory or discretionary limitation based on an abusive parent’s behavior or based on the behavior of someone the parent lives with that would require a limitation on a parent’s residential time with the child.²

The other parent can provide their own proposed parenting plan in response if they do not agree with the one you have filed.²

It may also be possible to file for a domestic violence protection order and get a temporary order about your child’s living arrangement through the protection order. A protection order can also suspend visitation under a parenting plan, if appropriate.³  

After you file, the papers will need to be given to the other parent. This is called “service of process,” and there are specific rules on how to do it. You may want to ask the clerk for the instructions on how the other party must be served in your state.

¹ For a copy of a “residential schedule,” see the Washington Courts website or our Washington Download Court Forms page
² R.C.W. § 26.09.194(1)
³ R.C.W. § 7.105.310(1)

There are two different ways that you might be able to get a final custody order – by coming to an agreement, or by going to trial.

Reach an agreement: In some situations, you and the other parent might be able to reach an agreement (settlement) about your child’s living arrangements. If the judge approves, your agreement could become the final custody order. This could allow you to keep some level of control over the outcome and help you avoid the stress and uncertainty of a trial. You and the other parent could negotiate an agreement by yourselves, with the help of your attorneys, or through mediation.

Go to trial: If you can’t agree or if it’s unsafe for you to deal with the other parent directly, the next step will be a trial. At that point, the judge will make all the decisions about custody based on what s/he believes is in your child’s best interests. During a trial, you or your attorney can present evidence and cross-examine the other parent. The other parent can do the same. If you are representing yourself, you can learn more about how to do this in our At the Hearing section.

If the other parent is not following the plan, you could file a petition for contempt of court with the court. In a petition for contempt of court, you are asking a judge to say that the other parent violated the parenting plan and to order the other parent to follow the plan and/or punish the parent for failing to follow the order. You will probably need to petition the same court that gave you your parenting plan even if you have moved.

If the court finds that the other parent has violated the parenting plan, the court can order that parent to give you additional time with the child, pay your attorneys’ fees, and pay a fine.¹

However, it is important to remember that even if the other parent is not following the parenting plan, it does not excuse you from following your obligations.

¹ R.C.W. § 26.09.160

Washington law recognizes that abusers often misuse court proceedings in order to continue the abuse.¹ This is called abusive litigation. If you are the victim of abusive litigation by your current or former intimate partner, and the court has already determined that the abuser has committed domestic violence against you, you can ask the judge to issue an order restricting abusive litigation. See our Litigation Abuse section for more information on how to do this. 

¹ R.C.W. § 26.51.010
 

If the parent with whom the child primary lives gets deployed or the military requires him/her to temporarily move a substantial distance away, the judge can issue a temporary custody order during that time period. The temporary custody order will end no later than 10 days after the parent returns and provides notice to the child’s temporary custodian (caretaker). However, if a parent/party files a motion that alleges that the child will be in immediate danger of being harmed if returned to his/her parent, the judge can hold an emergency hearing before the child is returned to that parent to decide where the child will live. If there is no motion filed claiming that returning the child will cause harm to the child, the judge will grant a request to restore the previous residential schedule.¹

¹ R.C.W. § 26.09.260(11)(a)

When making a decision about custody, the judge may not consider periods of time when a parent was deployed as time when that parent failed to exercise his/her right to residential time.¹

Additionally, if a parent files a motion to transfer custody from the parent serving in the military to a non-military parent, the judge may not consider a parent’s temporary duty, activation, mobilization, or deployment (and the disruption to the child’s schedule because of a parent’s military duty) when determining if there has been a substantial change in circumstances.²

¹ R.C.W § 26.09.260(8)(b)
² R.C.W § 26.09.260(11)(b)

There are different procedures to follow if you are planning to move somewhere that keeps your child within the same school district or if you plan to move somewhere that would change your child’s school district.

Moving within the same school district
If you plan to move to someplace within your child’s same school district, you do not have to follow all of the notification steps referred to below. Instead, you can give “actual notice” by any reasonable means to everyone entitled to residential time or visitation with the child under a court order. The other parent or other person with court-ordered visitation has the right to file to try to modify the order if s/he wishes to do so but there isn’t a formal “notice of objection to the move” that s/he could file.¹

Moving to somewhere outside of the child’s school district
If your child lives with you a majority of the time and you are looking to relocate with your child outside of your child’s school district, you have to give notice of your planned (intended) move to every other person who is entitled to residential time or visitation with the child under the court order. Each person has the right to file an objection with the court to try to stop the move and serve it upon you personally within 30 days or within 33 days, if served by mail, of when the person received the notice of your intended move.² If no objections are filed within the timeframe allowed, you may be able to move without further court action. You can read the law on our Selected Washington Statutes page, section 26.09.500. There is very specific information that must be included in the notice and specific requirements on how to serve the notice. Go to What type of notice do I have to give to the other parent if I want to relocate out of my child’s school district? for more information.

Note: Unless you have a court order saying otherwise, a parent who is intending to move cannot move the child’s principal residence during the time that the other parent has to object to the notice, which is 33 days from when s/he received your notice. Additionally, if the other parent asks for a hearing, which is scheduled for after that timeframe, you cannot move your child’s principal residence while awaiting that hearing.³

For more information, the Northwest Justice Project and Washington LawHelp have self-help guides that you may find useful: Relocation guide: Moving with children and Parenting plan guide.

¹ R.C.W. § 26.09.450
² R.C.W. §§ 26.09.430; 26.09.480(1)
³ R.C.W. § 26.09.480(2)

If you don’t provide the required notice before moving, you can be subject to sanctions (punishment), including being held in contempt of court. Even if you don’t provide the proper notice, the other parent can still file in court an objection to the intended move (relocation), just as they could do if you give proper notice.¹

¹ R.C.W. § 26.09.470(1), (3)