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Custody

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Laws current as of August 8, 2025

If the abusive parent committed domestic violence or a sex offense, can they get decision-making powers?

If the judge believes that the abusive parent has done any of the following, they cannot get shared (mutual) decision-making rights. The judge must believe that the abusive parent:

  1. willfully abandoned the child for an extended period of time;
  2. committed physical abuse, sexual abuse, or a pattern of emotional abuse against any child;
  3. has a history of committing acts of domestic violence;
  4. committed an assault that caused or threatened serious (grievous) physical injury;
  5. sexually assaulted anyone;1 
  6. has been found to be a sexual predator; or
  7. has been convicted of a sex offense against any child, either in Washington or elsewhere.2 

If the judge finds that any of these have happened, they cannot order any dispute resolution.3

The judge does not have to apply these limits on decision-making only if they make explicit written findings in the custody order based on “clear and convincing evidence” that it would be in the child’s best interests. However, if the judge has found that domestic violence occurred in your case, they must not require face-to-face mediation, arbitration, or any intervention, including therapy that requires you to be in the same physical or virtual space as the abusive parent.4

1 R.C.W. § 26.09.191(5)
2 R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(5)
3 R.C.W. §§ 26.09.191(5); 26.09.0001(5)
4 R.C.W. § 26.09.191(6)(b)

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If the abusive parent committed domestic violence or a sex offense, can they get residential parenting time?

Depending on the details of the case, an abusive parent may have residential parenting time limited by “mandatory limitations” or “discretionary limitations.” This means that in some cases it is required (mandatory) for the judge to limit the time, while in others it is up to the judge to decide whether a limitation is appropriate (discretionary). To see what limitations the judge can apply in either situation, see What are the limitations a judge can place on the abusive parent’s contact with my child?

When limitations are mandatory

If the judge believes that the abusive parent has done any of the following, the abusive parent’s residential time with the child must be limited:

  1. willfully abandoned the child for an extended period of time;
  2. committed physical abuse or a pattern of emotional abuse against a child;
  3. has a history of committing acts of domestic violence against anyone;
  4. committed an assault that caused or threatened serious (grievous) physical injury;  
  5. sexually assaulted anyone;1 or
  6. was convicted of a sex offense as follows:
    1. if they were convicted as an adult of a sex offense against a child, either in Washington or anywhere else, the judge has to assume that the parent is a danger to the child and cannot allow contact between the parent and child unless the parent can convince the judge otherwise;2 or
    2. if they were designated a sexual predator, the judge cannot allow contact with the child.3

If the abusive parent sexually abused your child specifically, see If the abusive parent sexually abused my child, will the judge allow contact?

When limitations are discretionary

If any of the following apply to the abusive parent, the judge may limit their residential time with the child, but it’s not required:

  1. the parent:
    1. neglects or substantially does not perform parenting functions;
    2. endangers the child’s psychological development through abusive use of conflict;
    3. withheld the child from the other parent without a good reason for a sustained period of time; Note: This does not include protective actions you may take to protect yourself or the child from the abusive parent;
  2. a long-term impairment that is emotional, physical, or caused by substance abuse interferes with the parent’s performance of parenting functions;
  3. the child lacks an emotional tie with the parent, or the emotional tie is significantly damaged; or
  4. there are other factors or acts that the judge believes are against the child’s best interests.4

1 R.C.W. § 26.09.191(4)(a)
2 R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(2)(a)
3 R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(1)
4 R.C.W. § 26.09.191(4)(c)

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If the abusive parent sexually abused my child, will the judge allow contact?

The questions above deal with limitations that a judge can place on a parent if the parent sexually abused “any child.” However, if the abusive parent sexually abused your child specifically, the limitations are much stricter. The judge cannot allow contact between the abusive parent and the child unless the child’s therapist or an evaluator who evaluated the child recommends it. The therapist or evaluator must confirm that the child is ready for contact with the parent and will not be harmed by it.1

If the judge does order contact because the therapist or evaluator recommended it, the contact must be supervised.2 The supervisor must be a neutral and independent adult who is willing and able to protect the child from harm. The judge can revoke approval if the supervisor fails to protect the child or is no longer willing or able to protect the child.3

1 R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(2)(b)
2 R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(4)(c)(iii)
3 R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(4)(c)(i)

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If a parent who is not abusive lives with someone who committed domestic violence or a sex offense, can that parent get residential parenting time?

If the other parent is not abusive but knowingly lives with someone who has committed domestic violence or a sex offense, this may affect that parent’s right to see their children. The judge must limit that parent’s residential parenting time if they live with an offender who:

  1. committed physical abuse, sexual abuse, or a pattern of emotional abuse against any child;
  2. has a history of committing acts of domestic violence;
  3. committed an assault that caused or threatened serious (grievous) physical injury; or
  4. sexually assaulted anyone.1

In addition, the following limitations apply if the offender has been found to have committed certain sexual crimes:

If the offender living with the other parent… Then…
1. has been found to be a sexually violent predator, either in Washington or elsewhere the other parent can have no contact with your child except when the offender is not around.2
2. has been found to have abused a child in a family law or dependency case the other parent can have no contact with your child unless they accept that the offender committed the abuse and are willing and able to protect your child from abuse.3
3. was criminally convicted as an adult of a sex offense against a child, either in Washington or elsewhere there is a “rebuttable presumption” that the other parent would put your child at risk of abuse unless they only have contact when the offender is not around.4
4. was criminally convicted as a juvenile of a sex offense against any child at least 8 years younger, either in Washington or elsewhere there is a “rebuttable presumption” that the other parent would put your child at risk of abuse unless they only have contact when the offender is not around.4

If the custody case is about your child, and they were:

  • not the victim of the abuse described in numbers 3 and 4 above, the parent who lives with the offender may try to disprove the presumption against parenting time by showing that:
    • contact between the parent and child is appropriate;
    • the parent can protect the child from the offender; and
    • if treatment for sex offenders was ordered by a court, the offender has provided documentation that they successfully completed the treatment or are currently in treatment and making progress.5
  • the victim of the abused described in numbers 3 and 4 above, the parent must show the following to disprove the presumption against parenting time:
    • contact between the child and the parent in the presence of the offender is appropriate and poses minimal risk to the child;
    • if the child is in therapy for victims of sexual abuse, the child’s counselor believes the contact is in the child’s best interest; and
    • if a court-ordered treatment for sex offenders, the offender has provided documentation that they successfully completed the treatment or are currently in treatment and making progress.6

If the other parent is successful, the judge can allow them to have supervised residential time with your child in the presence of the offender. The supervisor must be a neutral and independent adult who is willing and able to protect the child from harm, but it can be the parent if the judge believes the parent meets these requirements. The judge can revoke approval if the supervisor fails to protect the child or is no longer willing or able to protect the child.7

1 R.C.W. § 26.09.191(4)(b)
2 R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(1)
3 R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(3)(b)
4 R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(3)(a)
5 R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(4)(b)(i)
6 R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(4)(b)(ii)
7 R.C.W. § 26.09.0001(4)(c)(ii)

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What are the limitations a judge can place on the abusive parent’s contact with my child?

Any limitation to the other parent’s contact with your child should protect you and the child from physical, sexual, or emotional abuse that could result from contact with them.1 The types of limitations that a judge can put on an abusive parent’s residential time include, but are not limited to:

  • supervised visitation between the child and the parent;
  • conditioning the visitation on a parent’s completion of an evaluation or treatment for things like:
    • domestic violence perpetration;
    • substance use disorder;
    • mental health; or
    • anger management; or
  • no contact between the child and the parent, if the judge believes that the other limitations would not protect the child from harm or abuse.1

If none of these limitations are included in the order, the judge must provide a written explanation establishing that:

  • contact between your child and the abusive parent will not cause physical, sexual, or emotional abuse or harm to the child; or
  • the chance that the harmful or abusive conduct will happen again is so remote that it would not be in the child’s best interests to limit residential time with the abusive parent.2

The judge must also consider the following factors and include them in the written explanation:  

  • any current risk the abusive parent poses to your or your child’s physical or psychological well-being;
  • if the other parent has demonstrated they can and will prioritize the child’s physical and psychological well-being;
  • if the other parent has and will continue to follow court orders;
  • if the other parent has genuinely acknowledged past harm and is committed to avoiding future harm; and
  • the other parent’s compliance with any court-ordered treatment.3

If the other parent is not abusive but lives with someone who poses a danger, see If a parent who is not abusive lives with someone who committed domestic violence or a sex offense, can that parent get residential parenting time? to see what limitations the judge can order.

1 R.C.W. § 26.09.191(4)(d)
2 R.C.W. § 26.09.191(6)(a)
3 R.C.W. § 26.09.191(6)(c)

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What if the limitations apply to both parents?

If mandatory or discretionary limitations apply to both parents, the judge can compare the risk each parent poses to the child. The judge must include a detailed written explanation in the custody order of this risk and any limitations the judge is deciding to impose on either parent.1

If a discretionary limitation applies to one parent while a mandatory limitation applies to the other, the mandatory limitations have priority when the judge is deciding on the residential schedule, decision making, and dispute resolution.2 

In any of these situations, the judge must consider the child’s best interest and which parenting arrangement will best maintain the child’s physical care, emotional growth, health, and stability. The law assumes that the child’s best interest is to change the existing parental contact only as much as needed:

  • based on a change in the relationship between the parents; or
  • to protect the child from physical, mental, or emotional harm.3

1 R.C.W. § 26.09.191(7)(a), (c)
2 R.C.W. § 26.09.191(7)(b)
3 R.C.W. § 26.09.191(7)(d)

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