If you are not comfortable with the abuser being alone with your child, you might be thinking about asking the judge to order that visits with your child be supervised. If you are already in court because the abuser filed for visitation or custody, you may not have much to lose by asking that the visits be supervised if you can present a valid reason for your request, although this may depend on your situation.

However, if there is no current court case, please get legal advice before you start a court case to ask for supervised visits. We strongly recommend that you talk to an attorney who specializes in custody matters to find out what you would have to prove to get the visits supervised and how long supervised visits would last, based on the facts of your case.

In the majority of cases, supervised visits are only a temporary measure. Although the exact visitation order will vary by state, county, or judge, the judge might order a professional to observe the other parent on a certain amount of visits or the visits might be supervised by a relative for a certain amount of time – and if there are no obvious problems, the visits may likely become unsupervised. Oftentimes, at the end of a case, the other parent ends up with more frequent and/ or longer visits than s/he had before you went into court or even some form of custody.

In some cases, to protect your child from immediate danger by the abuser, starting a case to ask for custody and supervised visits is appropriate. To find out what may be best in your situation, please go to IL Finding a Lawyer to seek out legal advice.

Domestic violence:
When considering whether or not to award parenting time (visitation) and significant decision-making responsibilities (custody), a judge will consider any physical violence or threat of physical violence and any acts of “abuse” by the parent against the child or a member of the child’s household.¹ Abuse, for these purposes, is defined as physical abuse, harassment, intimidation of a dependent, interference with personal liberty or willful deprivation.² However, there are also many other factors that a judge will consider when making a decision. Therefore, it is possible that a parent who has committed violence or abuse will get parenting time (visitation) and significant decision-making responsibilities.

Sexual abuse:
When considering whether or not to award parenting time (visitation) and significant decision-making responsibilities (custody), the judge will consider if a parent is a sex offender. The judge will also consider the exact nature of the offense and what, if any, treatment the parent has completed.³ However, again, this is just one factor among many that will be considered. Note: If a parent was convicted of any offense involving an illegal sex act committed against a minor, s/he cannot get parenting time while incarcerated or while on parole, probation, conditional discharge, periodic imprisonment, or mandatory supervised release for a felony offense until the parent complies with whatever terms and conditions the judge may order. The judge will take into account the exact nature of the offense and what, if any, treatment in which the parent successfully participated.⁴

¹ 750 ILCS 5/602.7(c)(11), (c)(14); 750 ILCS 5/602.5(c)(12), (c)(13)
² 750 ILCS 5/600(a); 750 ILCS 60/103(1)
³ 750 ILCS 5/602.7(c)(15); 750 ILCS 5/602.5(c)(14)
⁴ 750 ILCS 5/603.10(e)

Generally, a judge will presume that a fit parent’s decisions about who sees the child are reasonable and not harmful to the child.¹ However, if you are one of the relatives who can request visitation under the law, you may file for visitation if you can prove:

1. the child is at least one year old;
2. the child’s parent has unreasonably denied visitation;
3. denying visitation with the child has caused the child unnecessary mental, physical, or emotional harm;² and
4. one of the following factors is true:

• The child’s other parent had died or has been missing for at least 90 days. The child’s parent may be considered missing if:
  • no one can determine the parent’s location; and
  • the parent has been reported missing to a law enforcement agency.
• One of the child’s parents is “incompetent as a matter of law.”
• One of the child’s parents has been in jail or prison for more than 90 days before you file for visitation.
• The child’s parents are divorced, and at least one parent agrees to let you have visitation with the child.
• *The child’s parents are legally separated, and at least one parent agrees to let you have visitation with the child.
• *One of the parents is part of a current divorce case or other court case involving parental responsibilities or visitation, and at least one parent agrees to let you have visitation with the child. This does not include the following cases:
  • the adoption of an unrelated child;
  • a case involving a child who has run away, refuses to return home, and requires court intervention for his/her own safety; or
  • a court case for a civil or criminal order of protection because of domestic violence.
• *If the child’s parents are not married and are not living together, then:
  • If you are the child’s grandparent or great-grandparent, the parent to whom you are related must have legally established his/her relationship to the child. For example, if you are related to the child’s father, the father must have legally established his paternity rights.
  • If you are the child’s step-parent, your spouse must have legally established his/her relationship to the child. For example, if you are married to the child’s father, the father must have legally established his paternity rights.³

Note: For the situations with asterisks (*), the visitation with the child cannot take away from the parenting time of the parent to whom you are not related.

¹ 750 ILCS 5/602.9(b)(4)
² 750 ILCS 5/602.9(b)(3)
³ 750 ILCS 5/602.9(c)(1)(A)-(E)

Even if you meet all of the circumstances and requirements that would normally allow a relative to file for visitation, you cannot file for visitation under the following circumstances:

• There is a petition pending to make the child a ward of the state; place the child under an order of protection; or terminate parental rights because the child has been abused, neglected, or dependent under Section 2-13 of the Juvenile Court Act of 1987.
• An unrelated person is petitioning to adopt the child under the Adoption Act, or an unrelated person has already legally adopted the child.
• The child has been voluntarily surrendered by one or both parents, unless the child was surrendered to the Department of Children and Family Services or a foster care facility.
• The child’s parents have given him/her up under the Abandoned Newborn Infant Protection Act.¹

In addition, the following criminal convictions will affect a relative’s ability to get visitation:

• If you have ever been convicted of committing an illegal sex act against a victim who is under 18 years old, you cannot get visitation while you are in jail or prison, or while you are on parole, probation, conditional discharge, periodic imprisonment, or mandatory supervised release. You may also be denied visitation after you are released from the above conditions based on the factors a judge must consider when deciding visitation.²
• If you have ever been convicted of first-degree murder for killing the child’s parent, grandparent, great-grandparent, or sibling, a judge cannot grant you visitation. ³

¹ 750 ILCS 5/602.9(b)(2)
² 750 ILCS 5/602.9(e)
³ 750 ILCS 5/602.9(f)

A judge will make a decision about allocation of significant decision-making responsibilities (custody) based on what s/he thinks is in your child’s best interest.¹  The judge will look at any factor that s/he thinks is important to make this decision, including:

• the wishes of the parents;
• the child’s wishes, taking into account the child’s maturity and ability to express his/her own preference as to decision-making responsibilities;
• the child’s adjustment to his/her home, school and community;
• the mental and physical health of all individuals involved;
• the ability of the parents to cooperate to make decisions, or the level of conflict between the parties that may affect their ability to share decision-making;
• the level of each parent’s participation in past significant decision-making with respect to the child;
• any prior agreement or course of conduct between the parents relating to decision-making with respect to the child;
• the child’s needs;
• the ability of the parents to cooperate in an arrangement made, taking into account the distance between the parents’ homes, the cost and difficulty of transporting the child between homes, and the daily schedule of each parent and the child;  
• whether a “restriction,” as defined by law, on decision-making responsibilities is appropriate; 
• the willingness and ability of each parent to encourage a close and continuing relationship between the child and the other parent;
• any physical violence or threat of physical violence by either parent against the child;
• any acts of abuse against the child or a member of the child’s household;
• whether or not either of the parents is a convicted sex offender, considering the exact nature of the offense and what treatment the offender has successfully participated in; and
• any other factor that the judge finds to be relevant.² 

The judge cannot consider conduct of a parent that does not affect that parent’s relationship to the child.³ 

¹ 750 ILCS 5/602.5(a)
² 750 ILCS 5/602.5(c)
³ 750 ILCS 5/602.5(e)

A judge will make a decision about parenting time based on what s/he thinks is in your child’s best interest.¹ The judge will assume that both parents are fit and will not place any restrictions on parenting time unless you can prove to the judge that parenting time would seriously endanger the child’s physical, mental, moral, or emotional health.² The judge will look at any factor that s/he thinks is important to make this decision, including:

• the parents’ wishes as to parenting time;
• the child’s preference for parenting time, taking into account the child’s maturity and ability to express his/her own preference;
• the amount of time each parent spent performing caretaking functions with respect to the child in 2 years before the petition was filed for allocation of parental responsibilities/parenting time;
• any prior agreement or behavior pattern (“course of conduct”) between the parents relating to caretaking functions with respect to the child;
• the relationship the child has with his/her parent(s), his/her siblings and any other person that might significantly affect the child’s best interests;
• the child’s adjustment to his/her home, school and community;
• the mental and physical health of all individuals involved;
• the child’s needs;
• the ability of the parents to cooperate in a parenting time arrangement, taking into account the distance between the parents’ homes, the cost and difficulty of transporting the child between homes, and the daily schedule of each parent and the child;
• whether a restriction on parenting time is appropriate;
• any physical violence or threat of physical violence by either parent against the child or a member of the child’s household;
• any acts of abuse against the child or a member of the child’s household;
• the willingness and ability of each parent to place the needs of the child ahead of his or her own needs;
• the willingness and ability of each parent to encourage a close and continuing relationship between the child and the other parent;
• whether or not either of the parents is a convicted sex offender or lives with one; the judge will consider the exact nature of the offense and what treatment the offender has successfully participated in;
• the terms of a parent’s military family-care plan if a parent is member of the United Stated Armed Forces who is being deployed; and
• any other factor that the judge finds to be relevant.²

The judge cannot consider conduct of a parent that does not affect that parent’s relationship to the child.³

Note: A parent shall have sole responsibility for making routine decisions with respect to the child and for emergency decisions affecting the child’s health and safety during that parent’s parenting time.⁴

¹ 750 ILCS 5/602.7(a)
² 750 ILCS 5/602.7(b)
³ 750 ILCS 5/602.7(c)
⁴ 750 ILCS 5/602.5(d)

Before you file for custody, you may consider making an out-of-court agreement with the other parent. Parents often have to be flexible about custody and visitation for the child’s benefit. Parents who fight for sole custody may be in court for months or even years. And they may still end up with some sort of joint custody order after a settlement or trial.

However, sometimes, parents need to file for custody because they can’t agree with the other parent. You may also need to file for custody if the other parent is keeping the child from you or if you fear for the child’s well-being. If the other parent has committed domestic violence against you, s/he may try to keep power and control over you through the child. When there has been domestic violence, joint custody usually isn’t a good option due to the power difference in the relationship between the parents.

Keep in mind that custody court cases can take a long time. Going through this process can be emotionally and financially draining, so please do what you can to take care of yourself. If you have experienced domestic violence, you may want to contact a local domestic violence organization. An advocate there may be able to support you and help you plan for your safety while in court.

You can watch our Custody, Visitation, and Child Support videos, where we explain legal concepts and the court process, to learn more about this topic. You can also read more about safety issues on the Safety Issues section of our Court System Basics page. 

In the following sections, we will discuss the steps that generally take place during the custody process. For precise information on how this process works in your county and state, you may want to contact a local lawyer.

The legal paperwork that starts a custody case is called a petition. You may file your custody petition in the family court or a court of a different name that hears custody cases. Generally, you will file in the county where the child lives.

The exact petition you file may depend on whether or not you are married to the child’s other parent, as you can see in the chart below.

Sometimes, non-parents can also file for custody or visitation rights. To find out about filing for visitation as a non-parent, go to If I am the child’s relative, can I get visitation? or talk to a lawyer.

The custody petition forms you need will be available at your local courthouse. Many forms are also available online. Some courts may have a court assistance officer or other staff who can help you complete the forms you need to file. However, court staff cannot advise or represent you. It’s best to get help from a lawyer to make sure that you have all of the forms and fill them out correctly. You can use our Illinois Courthouse Locations, Download Court Forms, and Finding a Lawyer pages to find your county’s court, the forms, and local lawyers.

Depending on what’s going on with the child and the other parent, you may be able to ask for an emergency or temporary custody order when you file your petition. That may require appearing in front of the judge. However, in most cases, you will just file the petition, and then the clerk will tell you a date to return to court a few weeks or months later. If your child’s well-being is in danger, make sure to mention this on the petition and notify local authorities as needed. It may also be possible to file for an order of protection and get temporary custody through that order.

After you file, the papers will need to be given to the other parent. This is called “service of process,” and there are specific rules on how to do it. You may want to ask the clerk for the instructions on how the other party must be served in your state.

There are two different ways that you might be able to get a final custody order – by coming to an agreement, or by going to trial.

Reach an agreement: In some situations, you and the other parent might be able to reach an agreement (settlement) about your child’s living arrangements. If the judge approves, your agreement could become the final custody order. This could allow you to keep some level of control over the outcome and help you avoid the stress and uncertainty of a trial. You and the other parent could negotiate an agreement by yourselves, with the help of your attorneys, or through mediation.

Go to trial: If you can’t agree or if it’s unsafe for you to deal with the other parent directly, the next step will be a trial. At that point, the judge will make all the decisions about custody based on what s/he believes is in your child’s best interests. During a trial, you or your attorney can present evidence and cross-examine the other parent. The other parent can do the same. If you are representing yourself, you can learn more about how to do this in our At the Hearing section.

If a parent who has been allocated a majority of parenting time or equal parenting time in court wants to relocate with his/her child, there are certain steps s/he must follow:¹

1. s/he must provide at least 60 days’ written notice before the relocation to the other parent (unless such notice is not possible - in that case, written notice shall be given at the earliest date possible).  The notice must include the following:
   • the intended date of the parent’s relocation;
   • the address of the parent’s intended new residence, if known; and
   • the length of time the relocation will last, if the relocation is not for an indefinite or permanent period.²Note: The judge may excuse you from giving all or some of this information (or may seal the information) if there is a history of domestic violence.³
2. s/he must file a copy of the required notice with the clerk of the circuit court.³

If the non-relocating parent consents to the relocation, the law says that s/he can “sign” the notice and you can file it with the court and relocate.⁴  Be sure to check with the clerk of court whether or not the signature needs to be notarized or if there are any additional requirements that must be met.  The court will then modify the parenting plan or allocation judgment accordingly (as long as the agreed modification is in the child’s best interests).⁴

If the non-relocating parent does not consent to the relocation, you must file a petition in court seeking permission to relocate.⁵ Then a hearing would be held where the judge would decide whether or not to allow the relocation.  You can read about the factors that a judge will consider when deciding whether or not to allow you to relocate in section (g) of the law, 750 ILCS 5/609.2 on our Selected Illinois Statutes page.

¹ 750 ILCS 5/609.2(b)
² 750 ILCS 5/609.2(d)
³ 750 ILCS 5/609.2(c)
⁴ 750 ILCS 5/609.2(e)
⁵ 750 ILCS 5/609.2(f)