A parenting plan is a plan that lays out guidelines for parenting your child that takes into account certain “parenting functions” that are defined by Nebraska law.¹ Parenting functions refers to making decisions and performing actions for the care and development of your child, including but not limited to:

1. maintaining a safe, stable, consistent, and nurturing relationship with your child;
2. attending to the ongoing developmental needs of your child, including things like both physical care and emotional stability;
3. providing for your child’s adequate education;  
4. helping your child maintain a relationship with the other parent and family members; and
5. minimizing the child’s exposure to parental conflict.² 

When you file a custody case, the judge may ask you and the other parent to submit a parenting plan that you agree upon, or the judge may send you to mediation to try to develop a plan together. If you cannot reach an agreement, the judge may write a parenting plan on his/her own based upon what s/he believes is in the best interests of your child, taking into account the child’s age, developmental needs, and relationship with each parent.³

¹ NE R.S. § 43-2922(18)
² NE R.S. § 43-2922(17)
³ NE R.S. § 43-2929(1)(a), (5)

Mediation is a process where a third-party mediator works with the parents to try to reach an agreement that is acceptable to both sides about a parenting plan or other family issue.¹ A mediator is required to be trained and neutral, and the mediator has no decision-making authority to decide the conflict between the parties. Instead, the mediator works to provide a structured process in which the parties themselves can reach an agreement.¹

¹ NE R.S. § 43-2922(14)

There are many reasons people choose not to file for custody. Some parents decide not to get a custody order because they don’t want to get the courts involved. Some parents make an informal agreement that works well for them. Parents may be concerned that going to court will provoke the other parent. They may worry that if they start a custody case, the other parent will suddenly fight for, and may get, more custody or visitation rights than they are comfortable with.

If the other parent is uninvolved with the child now, he or she may become involved just because a case was started. Also, if the other parent fights for custody, the case may drag on for a long time, which can be emotionally and financially draining. The court will look into many aspects of your personal life that you may prefer keeping private such as past mental health issues, your criminal record, substance abuse issues, and details of your personal relationships.

However, getting a custody order from a court can give you certain legal rights. Getting a custody order can give you:

• the right to make decisions about your child; and
• the right to have your child live with you.

Without a custody order, it is possible that both parents may share these legal rights, even if one parent takes care of the child every day. However, if you file for custody, the other parent may also request these rights, and it will be up to the judge to decide.

We strongly recommend talking to a lawyer who can help you think through if filing for custody would be best for you, depending on the facts of your situation. You can find legal help by clicking on the NE Finding a Lawyer page.

If the evidence leads the judge to think that any of the below acts may have happened, the judge must decide whether a parent who is entitled to custody, parenting time, or visitation under the parenting plan has:

1. abused or neglected your child;
2. abandoned your child;
3. committed domestic intimate partner abuse; or
4. consistently interfered with your access to your child, other than to protect the child.¹

If the judge finds that the abuser has committed one of those acts, the judge can add limitations to the parenting plan to protect you and your child, such as:

1. changing the custody plan, including by giving sole legal or physical custody to you;
2. supervising the abusive parent’s time with your child;
3. requiring that a third party manage the exchange of the child between you and the other parent;
4. limiting how you and the other parent can communicate;
5. requiring the other parent not to use drugs or alcohol while with your child;
6. denying the other parent overnight parenting time;
7. ordering that third parties not be present during parenting time; and
8. requiring the other parent to post a bond to ensure your child is returned to you as scheduled.²  “Posting a bond” means that the parent leaves money or the title to property with the court that can be used for the purpose of locating the child if needed.  

A judge can only give the abusive parent custody if the judge makes a special determination that you and the child can be adequately protected by these extra limitations.³

The judge also cannot give parenting time or custody to a parent who is required to register as a sex offender unless the judge states in writing that there is no significant risk to the child.⁴

¹ NE R.S. §§ 43-2932(1); 28-705
² NE R.S. § 43-2932(2)
³ NE R.S. § 43-2932(3)
⁴ NE R.S. § 43-2933

When deciding a case about custody and parenting time, the judge will consider what is in the best interests of your child, including:

1. the relationship that your child has with both you and the other parent;
2. your child’s preferences, if s/he is mature enough that his/her wishes are reasonably based;
3. your child’s general health, welfare, and social behavior;
4. any credible evidence of abuse of any family or household member; and
5. any credible evidence of child abuse/neglect or domestic violence by either parent.¹

If you can prove to the judge that the other parent committed domestic violence against you, the judge is required to ensure that any parenting plan provides for your safety.²  See Can a parent who has committed violence or is a registered sex offender get custody? for more information.

¹ NE R.S. § 43-2923(6)
² NE R.S. § 43-2923(2)

Learn about what types of custody are available and how domestic violence might affect custody in your state. Think about what you will ask for, what would be best for your child, and what would be safest for both of you.  

You can prepare for court by gathering evidence that helps explain why you should have custody. Your evidence should relate to the “best interest factors” that a judge looks at to determine what’s best for your child. You can see What factors will a judge consider when deciding custody? for more information.

Custody cases are complicated, so you may want to get a lawyer. If you can hire someone, you can use this list of questions as your guide when deciding which lawyer to choose. If you can’t hire a lawyer, you may at least want to try getting a free or low-cost consultation to help you make a legal strategy for your case.

The next step in the custody process is to have “preliminary” court dates. Preliminary means introductory or preparatory. These might have a different name in your state, such as “first appearance,” “status conference,” or something else. They are when certain issues can be dealt with in the early stages of the case. Some of the issues that might be dealt with are:

• problems with service of process;
• referrals to mediation;
• temporary custody and visitation orders; and
• pretrial motions.

During this stage, the judge will often give temporary custody and visitation orders that last while the case continues. In some cases, the judge may assign a guardian ad litem or an attorney for the child.

For more information to help you prepare for the preliminary court dates, go to The first appearance in our Before the Trial section.

If you disagree with the judge’s order, there are a couple of legal actions you would need to file right away, such as a motion for reconsideration or an appeal.

• A motion for reconsideration asks the judge to decide differently based on the law or new evidence.
• An appeal moves the case to a higher court and asks that court to review the lower court’s decision due to a judge’s error.

Each state has a set time limit to file these actions, usually ranging from 10 to 60 days. To know your case’s exact timeframe, you should ask an attorney in your state.  

You might also be able to ask the judge to change your order in the future if there is a “substantial change of circumstances” after the case is decided. You can do this by filing a motion or petition to change (modify) the order. However, usually, this can only be filed under certain circumstances. Here are a few examples of events that might be considered substantial changes in circumstances:

• The other parent gets sent to jail or charged with child abuse or neglect;
• The other parent is not following the custody and visitation order; or

Your child’s needs change in a big way.

After a final custody order is issued, there may come a time when you and your children move to a different state. For information about how to request to transfer the custody case to a new state, please go to the Transferring a custody case to a different state section in our general Custody page. However, it’s important to keep in mind that you may likely first need to get permission from the court or from the other parent to move your children out of state. Please talk to a lawyer to make sure your plans to move don’t violate your custody order or your state’s parental kidnapping laws.