Physical responsibility or physical custody refers to the right to have your child live with you and stay overnight with you. The parent with physical responsibility takes care of the child’s day-to-day needs.¹

When the child lives with one parent, that parent has sole physical responsibility or sole custody. A parent with sole physical responsibility has the child live with him or her for most of the time. Legally, a parent with sole custody is responsible for the child’s care for between 75% and 100% of the child’s time.²

When parents share the responsibility for taking care of a child and having the child live with them, this is called shared physical responsibility. Here are some examples of shared physical responsibility:

• your child spends one week with you and then one week with the other parent
• your child spends weekdays with you and weekends with the other parent.

A judge can also order split physical responsibility or split custody when there’s more than one child involved. When parents have split physical responsibility, some of the children live with the mother while the rest live with the father.

¹ VT ST 15 § 664
² VT ST 15 § 657(a)(d)

“Parent-child contact” refers to visitation of the child – it is the right to spend time with your child that doesn’t live with you.  If one parent has sole physical responsibility for a child, the other parent will usually have some form of parent-child contact.

If you and the other parent cannot agree about PR&R and/or parent-child contact, you will have a court hearing where a judge will decide who gets physical custody and how much parent-child contact the non-custodial parent will get.

Judges usually want children to contact with both of their parents, unless it would harm the children.  If the child’s other parent has harmed your child in some way, the judge may limit parent-child contact or say there won’t be any contact at all.  Judges usually order at least some parent-child contact.  If you want a judge to order no parent-child contact for the other parent, you usually have to show the judge that the other parent is a serious and immediate threat to your child.  A lawyer may be able to help you with this.  To find a lawyer please visit the VT Finding a Lawyer page.

If you are not comfortable with the abuser being alone with your child, you might be thinking about asking the judge to order that visits with your child be supervised.  If you are already in court because the abuser filed for visitation or custody, you may not have much to lose by asking that the visits be supervised if you can present a valid reason for your request (although this may depend on your situation).

However, if there is no current court case, please get legal advice BEFORE you start a court case to ask for supervised visits.  We strongly recommend that you talk to an attorney who specializes in custody matters to find out what you would have to prove to get the visits supervised and how long supervised visits would last, based on the facts of your case.

In the majority of cases, supervised visits are only a temporary measure.  Although the exact visitation order will vary by state, county, or judge, the judge might order a professional to observe the other parent on a certain amount of visits or the visits might be supervised by a relative for a certain amount of time – and if there are no obvious problems, the visits may likely become unsupervised.  Oftentimes, at the end of a case, the other parent ends up with more frequent and/or longer visits than s/he had before you went into court or even some form of custody.

In some cases, to protect your child from immediate danger by the abuser, starting a case to ask for custody and supervised visits is appropriate.  To find out what may be best in your situation, please go to VT Finding a Lawyer to seek out legal advice.

Evidence of abuse and the impact of abuse on the child are only two of the factors that the judge will consider when determining parental rights and responsibilities.¹ It is important to note that for these purposes, abuse can be any one of the following:

• attempting to cause or causing you physical harm;
• placing you in fear of immediate (“imminent”) serious physical harm;
• child abuse;
• stalking (see subsection (6));
• sexual assault (see subsection (5)); or
• coercive controlling behavior.²

If the other parent has been convicted of domestic assault against you within the past 10 years or a court found that the parent committed abuse against you or a member of your family or household, then the judge can only let the abusive parent have contact with the child if protections can be put in place to keep you and the child safe.³ The judge can order any condition to keep you and the child safe, including that:

1. the exchange of the child will occur in a protected setting;
2. visitation with the child will be supervised by another person or by an agency, with the abuser paying the agency’s fee;
3. the abuser must go to counseling;
4. the abuser must stop using alcohol or drugs during the visitation and 24 hours before it begins, if alcohol or drugs were involved in the abuse;
5. the abuser cannot have overnight visits; and
6. the address of the child must be kept confidential.⁴

Note: If your child was conceived as a result of sexual assault by the other parent, there are different laws that apply. For more information, see If my child was conceived as a result of sexual assault, can the offender get parental rights and responsibilities?

¹ VT ST 15 § 665(b)(9)
² VT ST 15 § 1101(1)
³ VT ST 15 § 665a(a)
⁴ VT ST 15 § 665a(b), (c)

If a judge believes that there is immediate danger of physical or emotional harm to children under 18, the judge court may award temporary custody of these minor children to the non-abusive parent or to other persons.¹  Under the Vermont Abuse Prevention law, if you go to court and the court finds enough evidence of abuse, the judge must make a temporary order to protect you, your child or both, which may include:

1. a temporary award of parental rights and responsibilities (custody), or

2. an order which restricts parent-child contact in whatever way is necessary to protect you or your child, or both, from abuse.  This order could include conditions under which you may deny parent-child contact until going back to court.²

If the court finds that there is an immediate danger of physical abuse, an order of emergency relief may be granted requiring the abuser:

1. To refrain from abusing the victim, the children, or both, and
2. To refrain from abusing the victim’s personal liberty, the personal liberty of the children, or both.

For more information on relief from abuse orders and how to get one, see our VT Restraining Orders page.

¹ VT ST 15 § 1104

Perhaps.  It will depend on the facts of the case.  If you left the home due to abuse, and your children were also being abused, the judge might fault you for leaving your children with the abuser.  However, if there is a valid reason that you were unable to take the children with you, the judge might consider this as well.  If you are considering moving away from the home where your children and the father live, you may want to speak with an attorney for advice first about how it will impact your case.  For a list of legal resources, go to our VT Finding a Lawyer page.

If both parents can come to an agreement on PR&R, the parents can make an arrangement on PR&R that works for both of them. One parent can have all of the parental rights and responsibilities, or the parental rights and responsibilities can be split between the parents in some way. If the parents cannot come to an agreement about PR&R, there will be a hearing (trial) in front of the judge where both parents get to present evidence and witnesses. The judge will make the final decision.

If the parents cannot agree about PR&R, there will be a contested hearing in front of a judge.  A judge makes a decision that s/he thinks will be in the child’s best interests.  Vermont laws say that after parents have separated or divorced, it is in the child’s best interests to have continuing, regular physical and emotional contact with both parents.  The exception to this, however, is when the child or the parent will suffer direct physical harm or significant emotional harm from seeing an abusive parent.¹

If the parents cannot agree to divide or share parental rights and responsibilities, the judge will usually award rights and responsibilities to just one parent - but the other parent may still have parent-child contact.²

In Vermont, the courts do not choose one parent over the other because of the gender of the child, the gender of either parent, or the financial resources of a parent.³

A judge will consider factors like these when determining the child’s best interests:

• the relationship of the child with each parent, including each parent’s ability to provide love, affection and guidance;
• each parent’s ability to provide the child with enough food, clothing, medical care, a safe environment, and other needs;
• each parent’s ability to meet the child’s present and future developmental needs;
• the child’s present housing, school and community and how the child would be affected by any change and adjustment to new surroundings;
• each parent’s ability to create and keep a positive relationship with the other parent, and to see the other parent often and regularly. This includes seeing the other parent in person, not just over the phone, except where physical contact could result in harm to the child or to a parent;
• the quality of the relationship between the child and whoever takes care of the child most of the time (“the primary caretaker”);
• the relationship of the child with anyone else who might significantly affect the child (this could include relatives, babysitters, friends, etc.);
• if the responsibility is shared or divided, the judge compares each parent’s ability to communicate/cooperate with the other parent and to make decisions together with the other parent about the child; 
• evidence of abuse of a family or household member; and
• how the abuse of a family or household member affects the child and the relationship between the child and the abusing parent.⁴ 

 ¹ VT ST 15 § 650
 ² VT ST 15 § 655
 ³ VT ST 15 § 665(b)
 ⁴ VT ST 15 § 665(c)

The Vermont Judiciary website posts a list of fees for certain cases.  Click here to access it.  If you do not see the fee for the case you are filing, or have questions, you can call the local courthouse to ask what the fee is and, if you are a low-income person, you can ask if there is a fee waiver available.  Go here to find the courthouse near you: VT Courthouse Locations.

Although you do not need a lawyer to file, it is almost always best to have a lawyer help you if you can get one.  This can help make sure that your rights and your children’s rights are protected.  If you cannot afford a lawyer, you may be able to find sources of free or low-cost legal help on our VT Finding a Lawyer page.

If you are unable to get a lawyer, you can get the forms you need at the local courthouse or you can visit our Download Court Forms Page for links to some of these forms online.

You should know that court workers cannot tell you whether you should bring your case to court or what will happen if you do.  Even if you plan on representing yourself, it may be helpful for you to have a lawyer review your forms before you file them.

If you are going to be in court without a lawyer, our Preparing for Court – By Yourself section may be useful to you.

There are exceptions to the home state rule. In some cases, you can file for custody in a state where the children and at least one parent have “significant connections.”  If you don’t think that Vermont would meet the traditional requirement for a “home state,” you may still be able to file for custody in Vermont if: 

• No other state is the “home state” according to the definition, and the court thinks that it is in the best interest of the child to decide the issue and
• The child and at least one parent have significant ties to the state and
• There is substantial evidence concerning the support of the child available in the state. 

If Vermont is your child’s home state, you may be able to file for temporary emergency custody in a different state if:

1. The child is present in that state; and
2. The child has been abandoned or it is necessary in an emergency to protect the child because the child, a parent, or sibling is subjected to or threatened with mistreatment or abuse.¹

For more information on getting a custody order transferred to another state, see Changing a final custody order.  This can be very complicated, and if you think this applies to your situation, please talk to a lawyer in both states about this - you can find free and paid lawyers in your state here: VT Finding a Lawyer.  Or you can write to our Email Hotline for other resources.

¹ UCCJEA § 204(a)

Learn about what types of custody (parental rights and responsibilities) are available and how domestic violence might affect custody in your state. Think about what you will ask for, what would be best for your child, and what would be safest for both of you.  

You can prepare for court by gathering evidence that helps explain why you should have custody. Your evidence should relate to the “best interest factors” that a judge looks at to determine what’s best for your child. You can see How will a judge make a decision about custody? for more information.

Custody cases are complicated, so you may want to get a lawyer. If you can hire someone, you can use this list of questions as your guide when deciding which lawyer to choose. If you can’t hire a lawyer, you may at least want to try getting a free or low-cost consultation to help you make a legal strategy for your case.

The next step in the custody process is to have “preliminary” court dates. Preliminary means introductory or preparatory. These might have a different name in your state, such as “first appearance,” “status conference,” or something else. They are when certain issues can be dealt with in the early stages of the case. Some of the issues that might be dealt with are:

• problems with service of process;
• referrals to mediation;
• temporary custody and visitation orders; and
• pretrial motions.

During this stage, the judge will often give temporary custody and visitation orders that last while the case continues. In some cases, the judge may assign a guardian ad litem or an attorney for the child.

In Vermont family court cases, before parents meet with the judge, they will often have a “case management conference” led by the court’s case manager. The case manager can help you identify which issues you agree about and which issues you disagree about and need the judge to decide. S/he may try to help you reach an agreement on parental rights and responsibilities (custody), parent-child contact (visitation), child support, and related issues. However, you should not agree to something you are uncomfortable with. The case manager cannot make a final decision if you and the other parent disagree. Parents always have the right to appear before a judge.¹

If you are a victim of domestic violence, you can let the case manager know before your conference. The case manager can speak with you and the other parent separately, or take other steps to help keep you safe.¹ To find the contact information for your county’s family court (“division”), go to Vermont Courthouse Locations.

For more information to help you prepare for the preliminary court dates, go to The first appearance in our Before the Trial section. 

¹ You can find information about case management on the Vermont Judiciary’s Divorce Process page

If you disagree with the judge’s order, there are a couple of legal actions you would need to file right away, such as a motion for reconsideration or an appeal.

• A motion for reconsideration asks the judge to decide differently based on the law or new evidence.
• An appeal moves the case to a higher court and asks that court to review the lower court’s decision due to a judge’s error.

Each state has a set time limit to file these actions, usually ranging from 10 to 60 days. To know your case’s exact timeframe, you should ask an attorney in your state.  

You might also be able to ask the judge to change your order in the future if there is a “substantial change of circumstances” after the case is decided. You can do this by filing a motion or petition to change (modify) the order. However, usually, this can only be filed under certain circumstances. Here are a few examples of events that might be considered substantial changes in circumstances:

• The other parent gets sent to jail or charged with child abuse or neglect;
• The other parent is not following the custody and visitation order; or
• Your child’s needs change in a big way.

Generally, yes, if you ask the court to do so.

A petition to change (modify) a PR&R order would generally not be filed right away after the judge issues the order. Either party can try to modify the order if you can show a “real, substantial and unanticipated change of circumstances” has happened since the order was issued. If you can prove this, then the the judge will evaluate whether changing the order would be in the child’s best interests.¹ (Note: The law regarding modification is different for orders issued when a child is conceived as the result of a sexual assault. For more information, go to If my child was conceived as a result of sexual assault, can the offender get parental rights and responsibilities?)

Note: If the judge modifies an order for physical responsibility, s/he is supposed to set a date for a child support modification hearing. At the same time, the judge can issue a temporary support order pending the modification hearing so that the amount of child support reflects the change in physical responsibility.²

Some examples of “real, substantial and unanticipated change of circumstances” may include:

• Disability;
• Illness;
• Relocation due to a job or a family emergency;
• A complete breakdown in communication between parents who have shared custody; or
• The other parent becomes abusive toward the child.

However, there can be many other situations that meet the definition of “real, substantial and unanticipated change of circumstances” that are not mentioned here. Talk to a lawyer in your area to find out if your situation might qualify you to get the custody order changed. Go to VT Finding a Lawyer for free and paid legal resources.

In addition, there could be a couple of options that are filed immediately after the judge makes the PR&R order:

• A motion for reconsideration asks the judge to decide differently based on the law or new evidence.
• An appeal moves the case to a higher court and asks that court to review the lower court’s decision due to a judge’s error.

¹ VT ST 15 § 668(a)
² VT ST 15 § 668(b)

Abusers often misuse court proceedings in order to continue the abuse. This is called abusive litigation. If you are the victim of abusive litigation by someone who the court has already determined committed abuse, stalking, or sexual assault against you, you can ask the judge to issue an order restricting abusive litigation. See our Litigation Abuse section for more information on how to do this.