Vermont family courts call custody “parental rights and responsibilities” (PR&R). This term means the same thing as custody, just with a different name. Some judges may still use the term “custody.”

“Custody” and “parental rights and responsibilities” both refer to the care and control of a child under 18. An order addressing parental rights and responsibilities will address:

• Who gets to make important decisions about the child’s life and how your child is raised; and
• Who will physically take care of the child.

Parents can make an agreement about PR&R and ask the court to turn that agreement into a court order. If the parents cannot agree, a judge can make a decision about PR&R as a part of a contested hearing.

Legal responsibility means who has the right to make important decisions about your child and decide how your child is raised. Some examples of these types of decisions are:

• what kind of education your child receives;
• how your child receives medical and dental care;
• what type of religious training your child will receive; and
• if your child can travel outside of Vermont.¹

Judges usually give this decision-making ability to one parent. That is called having sole legal responsibility or sole legal custody. When parents share the right to make important decisions about the child’s life (usually due to an agreement between the parents) this is called shared legal responsibility. If there’s more than one child, a judge can also order split legal responsibility, where the mother has the decision-making ability for some of the children but the father has the decision-making ability for the other children.

¹ VT ST 15 § 664(1)(A)

Getting a court order can give you (or the other parent):

1. the legal right to make decisions about your child,
2. the right to have your child live with you, and/or
3. the right to visitation, or parent-child contact.

If there is no court order and you and the other parent were married, then you and the other parent have equal rights to have the child live with you and to make decisions about the child’s life. The only way to change the equal right to make decisions about your child and the equal right to have your child live with either parent is by filing for a court order addressing parental rights and responsibilities.

If you and the child’s father were not married, then only the mother has legal and physical responsibility for the child until parentage is established in court and there is a court order saying otherwise.*

Some people decide not to get an order because they don’t want to get the courts involved. They may think going to court will provoke the other parent or will allow the other parent to receive more time with their child. They may also have an informal agreement that works well for them. However, you should also know that the police and the courts cannot enforce an informal agreement about custody. They can only enforce a court order. If you and the other parent agree about how to divide PR&R, you can ask a court to turn that agreement into a court order so that is is legally enforceable.

*See VT ST 15 § 308; and Vermont Judiciary website

If your child was conceived due to sexual assault or as the result of human trafficking, the other parent (the offender) can be denied all contact with the child. However, the situation is slightly different if the offender was convicted in criminal court of the sexual assault or not.

When there is a criminal conviction:
If the other parent was convicted in a criminal court of one of the following crimes, and your child was conceived as a result, the judge can grant you sole parental rights and responsibilities and deny all parent-child contact to the offender:

1. sexual assault as explained in subsections (a), (b), (d), (e);
2. aggravated sexual assault;
3. aggravated sexual assault of a child;
4. lewd and lascivious conduct with a child;
5. human trafficking; or
6. similar crimes in other states.¹

If a judge issues an order granting you sole custody and denying parent-child contact, the order is permanent and cannot be modified. If there was a prior parental rights and responsibilities order in place regarding the child and the offender, the judge is supposed to end (terminate) that order.²

When there is not a criminal conviction:
Even if the other parent was not convicted of a crime related to sexual assault or human trafficking but you can still prove to a judge by clear and convincing evidence that you were sexually assaulted, trafficked, or sexually exploited and the child was conceived as a result, the judge can still grant you sole custody, deny all parent-child contact to the other parent, and terminate any existing parent-child contact order between the child and the offender. However, the judge has to first determine whether or not it would be in the child’s best interests to do so and it may be possible to modify the order in the future if the party can prove there are extraordinary, real, substantial, and unanticipated change of circumstances.³ For the purpose of this part of the law, you must prove that even though the other parent was not convicted of any of these crimes, s/he committed one of the following against you:

1. sexual assault as explained in subsections (a), (b), (d), (e);
2. aggravated sexual assault;
3. aggravated sexual assault of a child;
4. lewd and lascivious conduct with a child; or
5. sexual exploitation of an inmate;
6. sexual exploitation of a minor;
7. sexual abuse of a vulnerable adult; or
8. similar crimes in other states.⁴

Note: Getting an order under either of these above scenarios that denies the offender all parent-child contact does not affect your right to file for child support against him/her. You can still seek child support if you choose to do so.⁵

¹ VT ST 15 § 665(f)(1)
² VT ST 15 § 665(f)(4)
³ VT ST 15 § 665(f)(2), (f)(4)
⁴ VT ST 15 § 665(f)(2)(A), (f)(2)(B)
⁵ VT ST 15 § 665(f)(3)

In certain cases, grandparents can ask the court for visitation. If there is a court which has considered or is considering the custody or visitation of a child, the grandparent can file a written request with the court to ask for visitation. The court can grant it if it would be in the best interest of the child.¹

If there is no such case going on regarding custody or visitation, a grandparent can start his/her own case for visitation in superior court ONLY if a parent of the child:

• is deceased (dead),
• is physically or mentally unable to make a decision about visitation, or
• has abandoned the child.²

When deciding whether or not visitation with the grandparent would be in the child’s best interest, a judge may look at:

• the love, affection and other emotional ties existing between the grandparent and the child;
• the ability and willingness of the parties involved to give the child love, affection and guidance;
• the nature of the relationships between the grandparent and the grandchild and the desirability of maintaining the relationship;
• the moral fitness of the parties;
• the mental and physical health of the parties;
• the child’s reasonable preference, if the court believes the child is old enough to express a preference;
• the willingness and ability of the grandparent to help and encourage a close and continuing relationship between the child and the other parties and; and
• any other factor which the court considers to be relevant.³

If you are denied visitation by the judge, you have to wait one year before you can file for it again unless there has been a substantial and unanticipated change of circumstances since you were denied the visitation – then you can re-file before the one year period is up.⁴

¹ VT ST 15 § 1011
² VT ST 15 § 1012
³ VT ST 15 § 1013
⁴ VT ST 15 § 1015

If both parents agree to divide or share parental rights and responsibilities, the court will usually assume that the agreement is in the child’s best interests and will enforce the parents’ agreement. If you want an agreement between you and the other parent to be complete and enforceable, the agreement must include statements about the following:

• where the child will live;
• when and how often there will be contact between the child and the non-custodial parent (parent-child contact);
• who will make decisions about the child’s education;
• who will provide for and decide about the child’s medical, dental and health care;
• travel arrangements for the child;
• how the parents will communicate with each other about the child; and
• if PR&R are shared between the parents, how the parents will resolve disputes about the child when they cannot agree (such as mediation or binding arbitration).¹

¹ VT ST 15 § 666

In Vermont, mediation is not mandatory. Parents might be referred to mediation by the family court after you file for PR&R or parents sometimes choose mediation before filing in court. Mediation means that a neutral third party (a mediator) tries to help the arguing parties agree on a solution without going to a judge. If you try mediation and you don’t come to an agreement, you can always go to court and see a judge, because mediation is not binding. Mediation is also called conciliation, case evaluation and facilitated negotiation. When there is current or past abuse between the parties, mediation may not be a good solution since you cannot have an open exchange of ideas and make compromises with someone who intimidates you.

The family court judge might also refer you to parent coordination in which a parent coordinator meets with the parties separately and might meet with the children, teachers, counselors and others who know the children to help come up with an agreement about PR&R. If the parents agree to a plan, it would be referred to the judge to be signed and turned into an official order.

Both mediation and parent coordination cost money but the fee is adjusted according to the parties’ income. The Vermont Judiciary website has more information on mediation, parent coordination and the specific costs.

It depends on the particulars of your situation. To find out what the process will be like for you, please consult a lawyer in your area.

Generally, if the parents are married, one or both of the parents usually files for PR&R as part of a divorce action. If the parents were never married or if either is filing before seeking a divorce, either parent can file for PR&R in the county in which the child has been living for at least six months.

In Vermont, legal disputes involving child custody and child support are settled in family court. There is a family court in every county. Most family courts have a “case manager” who is responsible for helping families understand their legal rights and responsibilities. The case manager can help parents reach an agreement on parental rights and responsibilities (custody), parent-child contact (visitation), child support and other matters – or pinpoint areas of disagreement – before they see a judge. The case manager cannot make a final decision if the parents do not agree, and the parents always have the right to appear before a judge.

To contact the family court in your area, go here: VT Courthouse Locations.

You can file for custody in the “home state” of the child or a state where the child has significant connections. The “home state” is the state where your child has lived with a parent or a person acting as a parent for at least six months in a row. (Leaving the state for a short period of time does not change your child’s home state). If your child is less than 6 months old, then your child’s home state is the state where he or she has lived since birth. However, there are exceptions to the “home state” rule – see What are the exceptions to the home state rule?

If you and your child recently moved to a new state, generally you cannot file for custody in that new state until you have lived there for at least six months. Until then, you or the other parent can start a custody action in the state where your child has most recently lived for at least 6 months.

Example: If a family lives in Vermont for one year, Vermont is the home state. If one parent moved to New Hampshire with the children and has lived there for only 4 months, then Vermont would still be the home state. This means that he or she would still have to file for custody in Vermont. Once s/he has been in New Hampshire for 6 months or more, then New Hampshire would become the “home state” and s/he could file there.

If you move to another state, you may be able to change the state where the custody case is being heard.  However, if the other parent disagrees with moving the case or if the court has already spent a lot of time and resources on the case, it may be hard to get it transferred.  This is often complicated, and as with all custody issues, we recommend that you talk to a lawyer about this.  For more information on getting a custody order transferred to another state, see Changing a final custody order.  For legal advice, go to VT FInding a Lawyer.  You can also write to our Email Hotline for more information.

Generally, yes, if you ask the court to do so.

A petition to change (modify) a PR&R order would generally not be filed right away after the judge issues the order. Either party can try to modify the order if you can show a “real, substantial and unanticipated change of circumstances” has happened since the order was issued. If you can prove this, then the the judge will evaluate whether changing the order would be in the child’s best interests.¹ (Note: The law regarding modification is different for orders issued when a child is conceived as the result of a sexual assault. For more information, go to If my child was conceived as a result of sexual assault, can the offender get parental rights and responsibilities?)

Note: If the judge modifies an order for physical responsibility, s/he is supposed to set a date for a child support modification hearing. At the same time, the judge can issue a temporary support order pending the modification hearing so that the amount of child support reflects the change in physical responsibility.²

Some examples of “real, substantial and unanticipated change of circumstances” may include:

• Disability;
• Illness;
• Relocation due to a job or a family emergency;
• A complete breakdown in communication between parents who have shared custody; or
• The other parent becomes abusive toward the child.

However, there can be many other situations that meet the definition of “real, substantial and unanticipated change of circumstances” that are not mentioned here. Talk to a lawyer in your area to find out if your situation might qualify you to get the custody order changed. Go to VT Finding a Lawyer for free and paid legal resources.

In addition, there could be a couple of options that are filed immediately after the judge makes the PR&R order:

• A motion for reconsideration asks the judge to decide differently based on the law or new evidence.
• An appeal moves the case to a higher court and asks that court to review the lower court’s decision due to a judge’s error.

¹ VT ST 15 § 668(a)
² VT ST 15 § 668(b)

Abusers often misuse court proceedings in order to continue the abuse. This is called abusive litigation. If you are the victim of abusive litigation by someone who the court has already determined committed abuse, stalking, or sexual assault against you, you can ask the judge to issue an order restricting abusive litigation. See our Litigation Abuse section for more information on how to do this.