Custodia

If the other parent is not following the custody order, you may file a motion for contempt in family court. If the judge finds that the order is not being followed, s/he can punish the other parent and provide a remedy to address the violation. 

If the judge finds that the custodial parent has refused to provide visitation on two or more occasions, then this could be considered a reason to take custody away from the custodial parent.¹ Note: If the parent is absent or didn’t follow the custody order because s/he was activated to military service or deployment out of state then that, by itself, won’t be enough to change the custody or visitation order.²

If you are the custodial parent and the non-custodial parent is not using his/her visitation, courts generally will not force the non-custodial parent to use visitation time. The rationale is they don’t want to force a parent to spend time with a child if s/he doesn’t want to because that wouldn’t be in the best interest of the child. Continual failure to use visitation time when there is joint physical custody can possibly be a legal reason to request that the custody order be changed to sole physical custody. This is something that you could consider after talking to a lawyer. 

¹ RI Gen. Laws § 15-5-16(d)(1)
² RI Gen. Laws § 15-5-16(g)(7)