Emotional and Psychological Abuse

Emotional and psychological abuse can be hard to notice, especially at first. It may start suddenly or develop slowly over time. A person may act like a good partner in the beginning, and only become abusive after you are already in a relationship. When your partner’s behavior changes, it can leave you feeling shocked, confused, and even embarrassed. However, please remember: abuse is never your fault. It’s not your fault, even if the abuser blames you, or if other people say you “allowed” it.

Emotional abuse often happens in small ways, during normal daily interactions. Unlike physical abuse, there may not be a single incident or clear evidence that you can point to.¹ This may make it harder to explain or prove, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t serious or painful.

In addition, sometimes, people don’t realize that a behavior is abusive. Our sense of what’s “normal” in a relationship is shaped by the examples we’ve seen in our lives and the media. You may not have seen good examples of what a healthy relationship looks like, especially if you grew up around abuse. This can make it harder to notice the red flags or set healthy boundaries. 

If you are being emotionally abused, it might be hard to talk about it. You might worry no one will believe you. You might feel ashamed, confused, or isolated- especially if the abuser is keeping you away from your friends or family.

Still, reaching out for help is an important step. Emotional and psychological abuse can have serious effects. In many cases, it can also lead to physical violence. There are people and places that can support you. To learn more, see Where can I get help for emotional and psychological abuse?

¹ See The National Domestic Violence Hotline, What is Emotional Abuse page