Emotional and Psychological Abuse

Emotional and psychological abuse is real and damaging, but the law doesn’t always recognize it unless the abuse includes things like harassment, stalking, or threats. Advocates and other domestic violence professionals understand how harmful emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse can be. However, the legal system often has a more limited definition of abuse. This can make it harder to get help from the police or to get a restraining order based only on emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse.

Reporting emotional and psychological abuse to the police

Usually, you can’t report “emotional abuse” or “psychological abuse” on its own to the police. However, depending on what’s happening and how your state defines the crimes, these abusive behaviors may count as other crimes. For example, certain emotionally or psychologically abusive actions might be considered crimes like harassment, stalking, sharing (disseminating) private sexual photos, criminal mischief or destruction of property, threats, or public disturbances. To see how your state defines common crimes, go to our Crimes page and pick your state from the drop-down menu.

Getting a restraining order for emotional and psychological abuse

It’s often hard to get a restraining order when the abuse is all emotional, verbal, and psychological. Usually, “emotional abuse” is not listed as one of the acts of abuse that can qualify you for a restraining order. However, how you describe the abuse matters. If you frame what’s happening in terms of specific actions that match your state’s legal definition of abuse, you may have a better chance of qualifying for an order.

For example, instead of saying “He’s emotionally abusive” or “She’s verbally abusive,” try to describe the specific things the person has done or said. For example:

• repeatedly texting or calling you for no good reason or when you asked him/her not to;
• threatening you;
• following you or tracking your location;
• destroying your property or ripping up your documents;
• stopping you from calling for help or leaving your home; or
• forcing (coercing) you to do things you don’t want to do.

Some states specifically allow restraining orders for coercive control, a form of emotional and psychological abuse. To see what your state allows, go to the Restraining Orders page and pick your state from the drop-down menu. The first question in that section will explain your state’s legal definition of domestic violence for the purposes of qualifying for a restraining order. You can also check the Battered Women’s Justice Center’s chart to see which states have coercive control laws; it was last updated in 2024.

If you’re not sure you qualify for a restraining order or if you want help describing the abuse in a way that fits your state’s legal definition, you may want to talk with a lawyer. To find free and low-cost legal help, visit our Finding a Lawyer page. Or you can choose to file for a restraining order and let the judge decide if you qualify or not. 

Even if emotional and psychological abuse isn’t always against the law, that doesn’t make it okay. No one deserves to be treated this way, and you don’t have to accept it. A domestic violence advocate can offer you support, work with you on a safety plan, and connect you with resources. To learn more about getting help, go to Where can I get help for emotional and psychological abuse?