Emotional and Psychological Abuse

The term “gaslighting” is used to describe a pattern of behavior in which the abuser denies that acts or events have happened as you know they have, causing you to question your reality, doubt your judgment and memory, and feel like you are going crazy. The abuser will often twist your emotions, words, and experiences and use them against you. Gaslighting tends to happen gradually, over time.

Signs that someone may be gaslighting you include:

• You feel confused all the time or doubt your memory;
• You second-guess yourself and wonder if you are being too sensitive;
• You have trouble making even small decisions;
• You find yourself apologizing to your partner all the time;
• You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior;
• You hide how s/he is treating you from family or friends;
• You go along with what your partner says, even if it’s not true, because you know s/he will put you down, twist things, or start a fight if you correct him/her;
• You feel as though you can’t do anything right; and
• You wonder if you’re the problem in the relationship.¹

¹ See The National Domestic Violence Hotline, What is Gaslighting? page