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About Abuse

Emotional and Psychological Abuse

Updated: July 14, 2025

Shifting blame (“DARVO”)

Another form of emotional abuse is when the abuser denies the abuse, blames you for his/her actions, or makes you look like the bad one. For example, s/he might:

  • spread lies about you to friends or family;
  • say that you are really the one being abusive; or
  • call the police and make a false report against you, accusing you of doing what s/he did to you.

Some people call this pattern “DARVO,” which stands for “deny, attack, reverse victim and offender.”1 It’s a way to shift blame away from the abuser and make you seem like the one at fault.

1 Harsey, S. & Freyd, J.J. (2020). Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender (DARVO): What is the influence on perceived perpetrator and victim credibility? Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment, & Trauma, 29, 897-916.

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